I feel sorry for my husband

It's thesis time.  Or rather, "I've had this project since March, it's due on July 1st, but in between getting married, job searching, and getting married, I've let the thesis go by the wayside and so in the next few days I have 7 more pages to write (I'm on page 8), sorting out sources, oh and running it by my advisor for the paper that I haven't spoken with since she redirected my thoughts on my Philly trip and I haven't followed up since then"-time.

(Maybe a bit of PG-13 content below this line.)

And the topic doesn't really lend itself to being cheerful or me wanting to spend prolonged amounts of time with it.  My thesis goes something like this:  Pornography and subsequent masturbation has been causing increases in erectile dysfunction and decreasing sperm quality, and therefore is perpetuating the need for couples to seek out fertility treatment in the form of IVF.  Eradicate pornography=eradicate a large, secret problem that is fueling the "need" for IVF.

Thing is, no one wants to talk about the issue, or they think anti-porn advocates are making it too simplistic by saying "Death to porn!" because ED is a multi-faceted issue.  Despite the fact that ED for men under 40 is at a record high.  So I'm meeting the nay-sayer on their territory in this paper, and examining all the factors that go into porn addiction/masturbation (depression, internet addiction, etc) that all, by themselves, could be causes for ED...put them together in viewing pornography and subsequent masturbation, and it's bad news bears.  Again, though, no one wants to talk about it, so finding legitimate, peer-reviewed articles has been awful.  Or the titles of said articles are deceiving; one entitled something the effect of Masturbation Leads to Guilt ended up being about how the psychologist helped the man wipe out the shame of the issue (rather than encouraging him just to GIVE UP PORN) and rehabilitated him.  Yeah, there's a good idea--ignore the real issue and just make him feel good about himself!

So this week is much more...lazy on my end.  Dressing up less.  Having fewer home-cooked meals waiting for Matt when he gets home from work.  Neglecting some chores.  Playing more episodes of Merlin in the background.  Shamefully Shamelessly letting my healthy eating habits disintegrate. Two 24-oz of coffee yesterday decided to kick in at 2:30...am.  This morning.  Wide awake.  I can't say that I like this at all.  That first taste of feeling like I'm failing at this whole wife thing.  I know we'll each go through rough patches where one of us will be giving more and the other needing/taking more.  I just don't like being on the needing/taking more end of things.  It's not a very nice place to be.  I want to be super-wife, writing her super awesome thesis while having pork chops ready, clothes washed, volunteer work completed, and time at night for snuggles and catching up on our days.  Right now, not so much.  The time between now and July 1st is going to be very...awful.  Luckily that next weekend I should have recovery time.  But for now...July 1st is sneaking up and I'm running out of hours in my days.