This goes back to a couple of recent news stories. The first was the scandal surrounding Josh Duggar, first of his teen issues and then the more recent cheating problem. Then there was that surrounding Sam Rader, of the Christian vlogging couple Sam and Nia, who also had an Ashley Madison account, though he did not use it. Josh Duggar, the more well known of the two, became so mired in his problems that he has now committed to rehab. Sam Rader, whose video of him showing his wife a positive pregnancy test went viral, is currently taking a break from vlogging, following their miscarriage, the scandal, and a rough encounter at a recent vlogging conference.
Scandal. Such a hard, nasty word. One of which I've never been quite fond. I remember in high school and being worried about giving scandal with ANY type of PDA between my boyfriend and me to younger girls in school. Perhaps a
For years I kept my testimony to myself. My testimony involved my previous relationship, and how going through that struggle of letting go, discovering God's plan for me, and the awesome people who ministered to me in that time. I still found it hard to divulge that information, even to people who did not know me in high school. It takes much humility to give a testimony of who we once were, and how Christ entered our lives.
I can only imagine how much more difficult it is for someone in the public eye. Enter the bigger names I mentioned previously. The Duggars are well known for their more fundamentalist beliefs, and many of them seem focused on how relationships should go. The Raders are also well known on YouTube for holding strong Christian views on life. Though there are many differences between the Duggars and Raders, the media grabs onto a few similarities in the midst of this: (A) they are Christians, (B) they oppose homosexual marriage, and (C) they have been viewed as being models for how to live a Christian life.
I'll start with (C). As I said before, I have been in a position where I understood I was an upperclassman with people looking up to me and how I behaved. These two groups of people are in situations where this is much more the case. Which brings me to my thoughts on divulging our testimonies versus having privacy. It takes time for a person to create enough time and emotional distance between one's previous sins and the people we now want and choose to be. Many people who have commented on the Duggar scandals point out that (1) the Duggars have held themselves up to be models, (2) that the Duggars should have come clean in the first place, and (3) that by putting themselves on a show that they in a sense gave up their rights to privacy. But have they? Their show was centered on how it was possible to have 19 kids and how they lived out their lives to make it possible and even beneficial. Their show was not meant to be a tell-all about their darkest secrets; it was to make a pointed message, and that is what they achieved. Perhaps they should have been more prepared to do damage control in the case that their private lives were dug up into the open, but they were under no obligation to the general public to spill every detail of their struggles. As for (B). The scandals of these Christians does not make the Christian stance on marriage less true. If anything, it emphasizes that divorce, cheating, and lust are the root causes of all of the marriage mess that is going on in society today. It is possible to sin and still have a moral stance. But the media does not like it that way. Ack. So much on this one point alone. And then (A). The mere fact that they are Christians. Notice how only these two really stuck out in any big media stories? I hardly heard of anyone else involved. In comes my point on God's mercy. What I find most interesting in the media response to the scandals is not so much on how they treat the husbands who were unfaithful, but how the wives' response of fidelity and forgiveness were treated. These news stories more than any others showed me how much the media is willing and ready to rip to shreds the idea that God could possibly forgive these horrible abuses and mistreatments. How could He? These husbands saying they are forgiven by God is just a cover up and them allowing themselves to get away with immoral behavior...so said the media. These wives have every right to leave...so said the media. These men are monsters who are unfaithful, untrue, hypocrites, bigots, etc...so said the media. The cross is folly. We ought not be surprised that the media is so narrow minded because the cross will always be a stumbling block for those of the world. Though I have different views on forgiveness that involve the sacrament of confession than these two groups of people, and I can see how these scandals coming to light is a manifestation of how sin injures our relationship between both God and men--all other men, not just the people in our lives--it is clear that they are striving, in different ways, to discover their path to Christ.
Through it all, especially in the case of the repeated scandals of Josh Duggar, I wanted to badly to introduce Theology of the Body into their lives. It was especially clear in his case that, based on his upbringing and his continued spoken views while he was with the Family Research Council, and then even through his deeds that have come to light, that his view on the meaning and purpose of the body, especially that of women, is sorely lacking in truth. I pray that his rehab might somehow bring him and his family to healing. In the case of the Raders, Sam publicly stated that his desires were "fleshly" and that he now holds himself accountable to a discipleship partner and his church, which I think is fantastic. I can really see how they have and continue to work on their marriage, putting it first before anything else, which is inspiring. I highly encourage you to check out their channel and scroll through their videos.
I hope even some of that made sense. Though much of the media storm in both situations has blown over, both have still been heavily on my heart.
Watch the whole video, but especially about 9:42...so poignant and beautiful.
PS: I knew I would have thoughts to add or to amend after I wrote this post. Just so we're clear, when I say on point (B) that I agree about their points on same-sex marriage, I mean that in the light of Church teaching...not on fundamentalist belief. That is, they are loved and cherished, they are called to a very special, unique vocation in the Church, they are beautiful people, I have much to learn from them, and that Theology of the Body, again, has much to say in this arena. Also, that same-sex friendships are HIGHLY sexualized in today's culture, and that itself is a problem fueling this issue, and so we should cultivate a better understanding of affection. (Sorry, I think that last sentence was a separate tangent.) Not fundamentalist belief of doom and gloom for the non-elect/those who don't agree with them.
