That's life

While it's hard to believe that July 1st is almost here, which is the official half-way through summer day (trust me, I have a countdown till move-in day in my agenda), it's also welcome.  But to be honest, I'm feeling a bit better, mentally.  I'm almost done with the hardest portion of the summer...from here on out, I'll mostly be working my regular shift at the nursing home, so I'll feel much more comfortable and ready for work. 

Last week I was back home for my friend's wedding...a week ago we were finishing up last minute details on the wedding program!  Wow.  The time home went really quickly, but it was full of fun times.  A friend from high school who lives in Texas now stayed at my house for the week, and we really reconnected, which was super wonderful.  The wedding itself was fabulous.  Everything went so smoothly, minus being a bit rushed for getting hair done in the morning...but things just went so well, I don't think we could've asked for a more perfect day.  And, let's admit it, I was super excited for the dance, 'cause I haven't been dancing in ages.

And after the wedding the hair went also...at least, my hair!  All nice and chopped off :-).  I grew it out for the wedding, and it got down past my shoulders and was already super heavy.  I have such thick hair, I really don't know how I kept it long for such a long time when I was younger.  It's nice for work now, instead of having to gather it all up into a messy bun to keep it out of the way, it goes in a nice little ponytail.  It really is the little things.

Don't pay attention to the *ahem* unwashed hair.  I don't do very much on my days off.  Maybe I shouldn't mention those are my pajamas either...

So now my days just consist of working on applications for grad schools and beginning to think about the GRE in August, along with getting excited for a week I'll spend home in the middle of July with my mom while Dad's at Philmont with the Scout troop.  We're planning a trip to Branson for part of my time home since my family's never been there before.

And that's life!

Daily Gospel XV: Matthew 7: 6, 12-14

Confession session:  I don't really understand this Gospel passage.

At least the beginning anyways.  I guess I don't really understand the imagery that it's using.  Or how it ties in to the rest of the Gospel passage.

Mkay cool.  I guess that means you're going to get a commentary from someone else today (plus I'm a tad tired from work and not quite in a mood to attempt to delve in and analyze Scripture...)  Who better than Wikipedia, right?  No, honest.  I think it has a pretty good semi-explanation of the context.  Enjoy:  Matthew 7:6

Side note...it's kinda silly that such a weird comic strip took it's name from these verses.  Bummer.

Political Activist

This is going to be me getting on a soapbox a bit, thinking in writing (I would say thinking out-loud, but that's obviously not quite right) and searching for feedback/answers, and just ranting a bit.  Fair warning.  You may now proceed.

I've been following the story about the LCWR and the Vatican situation from a distance.  Obviously the media has a very biased story:  "Vatican is a bully!  Vatican is head honcho!  Vatican hates women religious!" Ha.  Please.  I hope even secular readers can at least see that that's ridiculous.  The story that is circulating goes a bit like this:  LCWR does wonderful wonderful deeds.  Vatican out of the blue says, "Hold up, you're not hitting the mark quite right.  You need to fix things."  LCWR gets offended.  Says they're doing the work of the Church and that the statement is mean and spiteful.

My observations are limited to what I can read.  That being said, I think we as hopefully educated and informed decision-makers can start to draw some deductions and sort fact from opinion.  I'd like to start with some (hopefully I have this right) facts.  LCWR is made up of mostly women religious who are politically involved in reforms for the poor, outcast, and needy.  Vatican representatives have been making visits to religious orders in the U.S. for at least a year, though I'm sure it's been longer than that, which means that the statements made about the LCWR were probably at least expected in some way, shape, or form.

Actually, that's all I really truly have that I can say, almost without a doubt, to be factual.  Now the rest of this paragraph is unapologetically opinion.  It's perfectly fine for religious to be aware of the political climate, and must obviously act if legislation is harming and offensive to citizens.  I believe this goes for protesting abortion at the March for Life, holding religious freedom rallies as is now happening to protest the mandate, fighting for reform for immigrants, and being aware of legislation that affects the welfare of the poor, though I am less involved with the latter two than other matters, not that they necessarily matter less.  While I obviously tend more towards reform in our law against abortion, stem cell research, and the death penalty, I cannot fault others for striving to reform the law in other ways that I don't understand as well to uphold a culture of life and dignity.  My involvement and volunteer work in Catholic worker houses has shown me how great and broad is the fight to renew the culture.  That being said, if I were to fight for abortion reform and ignore the plight of the poor and laugh off those that want reform for the needy, that would obviously be wrong.  Just as it is for those who fight for reform for the poor and outcast to approve of abortion and stem cell research.  For several reasons I find that it those who want abortion repealed also want reform in other ways, but are simply starting at the most basic and vulnerable of human lives.  And for that reason you will rarely find one who wants the country to be rid of abortion but won't support a charity that houses the homeless.  It amazes me, though, that there are many who do just the opposite and without any second thought...to help the poor and outcast of society and wholeheartedly allow for a "pro-choice" mindset.  That is exactly what the Vatican is getting at from what I can tell.  It's not that the fights of the LCWR are wrong...I think their causes are very much needed, as long as they are within Church teaching.  But that they do not at least openly state their opposition to beginning and end of life issues is what needs fixing.

Like I said, the above is opinion, and may be totally off-base, at which point I would appreciate any correction in comments.  This was spurred tonight by a friend of a more liberal mindset asking me about the following article:  Nuns on the Bus.  I basically said that, while they may not be going against any Church teaching, and are indeed brave for striving for a more perfect charity in the world, I don't necessarily think they should be endorsing this the way they are.  By saying they are NUNS on a bus for political reform of this sort, they are saying they are affiliated with the Catholic Church, and therefore representing the view that this is a Catholic position and every Catholic should think the way they do.  Now, I don't know enough about the legislation they are opposed to so that I could say one way or the other whether it is unjust...if I did, I would probably not be writing this post.  But in my mind I just started getting confused...what if the legislation is not unjust?  What if it is needed, although some may suffer from it?  What if the law IS unjust?  Should not all Catholics be on the "Nuns on the Bus" side of matters?  What if Catholics do...and of course we do, we're humans...make a wrong choice politically?  What if a legislation we originally support because it appears to increase prosperity and dignity turns out to be a bust and make the rich richer and the poor poorer?  Of course that's why we must follow our conscience and seek for the rest of our lives the truth and strive to make ourselves as informed as possible.  I was quite thankful for the friend who asked for my thoughts...it makes me want to be more informed on the issue(s) facing us politically.  I don't want to be always stating before any political statements, "Sorry, I don't know a lot about this issue, and I don't know much about politics, but I think that..."  We need to be informed citizens, and be cautious about making any political movements of ours "endorsed" by our religion.  Of course on matters of morals and religious freedom and the right to life, there are very clear reasons why they are both political and religious issues.  But I do believe there are many types of laws and legislation out there that I don't understand that are on the fence between being simply political opinions and needing some clear definition of action on a moral and spiritual standpoint.

Picture/news item of the day XXIII

Father's Day reflection:  What Does it Mean to Call God "Father"?

Another double post

I've done this one other time before, but here you go...two posts in one!

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More and more these days I feel less and less grown up.  I see my peer group starting and ending relationships, ending schools, applying to new schools, starting real jobs, getting engaged and married…and I freak out and realize I’m too young and immature for this to be happening.  I see how people have changed, grown out of or into their faiths, and realize that I’m still the same as I was when I was starting off in high school.

Now I know that’s not entirely true.  I’m sure there are ways that I’ve grown and changed from 15 year old Bishop Carroll Chelsea to 21 year old Rockhurst Chelsea, but I don’t think I know what they are yet.  Am I more grounded in my faith?  Some days.  Am I ready to start my vocation like a lot of my peers?  Some days I just want college days to continue on because the “real world” is unreal to me and void, like some unavoidable pit into which I will eventually be pushed (Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying it’s bad to start a vocation so young, for me it’s just a scary/mysterious thing).  When I see a lot of friends taking on jobs that are in different cities and different states, I want them to just be back in Wichita…then I realize that I’m one of those people.  But I don’t feel it.  Is there some sort of quick metamorphosis to propel you into adulthood?  I haven’t yet discovered it.  I mean, it even shocked me when my mom offered me a wine cooler the last time I was home.  Mom, don’t you know that’s not legal??  Oh, wait a second…

I recently texted something along these lines to a friend back home (of course a more brief version of what I said above), and the one thing the person said in reply has been a bit of a comfort since then.  This person simply said that it is good to remain young at heart.  It’s alright for me to be where I am right now in my growth.  No need to speed up and try to catch up to everyone else’s level…if I’m not ready for forever, then God has me here for a purpose to continue to form me into  His loving daughter.  And no need to try to recapture the past either.  High school was a beautiful experience for me, and even though some days I think I still belong there, it is quite simply true that I don’t, nor could I ever return.  Even though my heart stays young, I have crossed some sort of threshold into an adult world of relationships and bills and change and making my own way.  Someday even college will be past, and the first few years when I’m done I’ll be a bit disillusioned and probably want to be back in the safety and security of dorm life and cafeteria meals and syllabi. 

The word that my spiritual director kept returning to in my last appointment with him was “disillusioned”.  Despite my heartache for home and complaining to him, he assured me I was in a really good place (most days I growl and roll my eyes and think, “Uh huh, whatever, good place my tushie.”).  Though I am not yet in the real world, I am starting to discover it in glimpses, especially through being at work and the reality of what nurse assistants go through day in and day out.  When I think of the “real world” and how I don’t want it yet and I’m not ready for it, I am learning to make Jesus’ prayer my own… “Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from me; yet, not as I will, but as you will.”  I can’t stop the hands of time, as much as I want to, nor can I speed up the summer to get straight to the school year as I’d like so much to do.  The cup is bitter, but it is the Father’s will, and He has better plans than me (again, something I contest more days than not).

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I received a beautiful call the other day.  It was from a relative, also related to the other family member I spoke of in one of my recent posts.  This relative had just watched “For Greater Glory”, and combined with that and talking with me, had worked up the courage to call the family member and tell of their disapproval for what the other family member is doing right now.  Knowing that others die for their faith make it a little more possible and realistic to tell another person they’re not living up to their Catholic faith.

I just had the opportunity to see the movie with Matt the other evening, and let me tell you, I wish everybody had the chance to see it.  I won’t spoil it at all here for you, I’ll simply provide the link to the movie website, but it is definitely one of those films that forces you to put your life into perspective.  I looked at my blog post above and laughed a little later…oh, how often I take myself seriously!  If I could laugh at myself more I would be braver.  Courage is not for the serious and dull.  Courage is for the child, the clown, and the convert.  They all see the bad that has been done and the good that can make things better in a clear light.

Song recommendation of the day XXVI

Because pretty much anything by The Fray is wonderful.

Admonish without apology

Last night I stayed up until 1:30am because I couldn't sleep, and today I had no energy so I stayed in bed all day.  What was the cause of these strange past 24 hours, you wonder?  This time it wasn't the homesickness.  This time it was genuine stress and concern and frustration with a family member of mine that is making a huge mistake (and could use some prayers, so if you could add this person to your lists of intentions as a "special intention" that would be great!).  I found out some stuff transpiring in this family member's life over the past weekend, and ended up sending this person an email last night to try to bring this person some information and guidance back towards the Church.  Part of me realized this person either (a) wouldn't bother or (b) would get upset (it ended up being a healthy mix of both), but I couldn't just sit by with what was going on.

Why couldn't I just let things be instead of being "that person" that tries to step in and give advice?  At some point while this exchange of words was going on, my mind returned to my favorite Bible verses, 2 Corinthians 5:13-17.  "For if we are out of our minds, it is for God; if we are rational, it is for you. For the love of Christ impels us, once we have come to the conviction that one died for all; therefore, all have died. He indeed died for all, so that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for him who for their sake died and was raised. Consequently, from now on we regard no one according to the flesh; even if we once knew Christ according to the flesh, yet now we know him so no longer. So whoever is in Christ is a new creation: the old things have passed away; behold, new things have come."  I always remember it when I want to just ignore something that I know is contrary to my faith.  I don't like to be the one to speak out against things like abortion, same-sex marriage, contraception, fornication, etc. I don't like to be perceived as the bad guy.  All too often, if I'm trying to admonish someone, at the same time it'll sound like an apology:  "I'm sorry to tell you this...it's not really me telling you this, it's the Church...but this is wrong...but don't take it the wrong way..."  NO!  Why do I have to be apologetic about something that needs no apology!  My faith is not something for which I need to make excuses.  Admonishing the sinner is not the same as judging the sinner.  I can give advice and know I'm not doing the wrong thing.  It would be wrong to sit by and pretend to not care..."Silence gives consent."  No, my love of Christ and all He stands for demands action, and sometimes some tough words to go along with them.  And if someone I know who has been brought up in the Faith is acting contrary to the Faith, it is a lie on their part to live in such a manner and it is a lie on my part if I consent to allowing them to live that way, even to participate from a distance by not giving advice. 

That's not to say that I need to present the truth in a harsh manner.  It's definitely possible that at some point I was telling the truth to this person in a judgmental way.  It's hard to tell in the moment.  I do think, though, that we people in general are very sensitive these days, and can take any representation of the truth as being judgmental, especially when directed toward us.  There's a quote that I stumbled upon in the past few months that of course I'm not going to remember at the moment (nor is Google being any help), but Christians must really not be surprised when they are misquoted or misunderstood.  It's just part of what happens in today's world.  The Pope tries to redirect some religious groups in America=war on religious and all that they do.  Pro-lifers want abortion to end=war on women.  Telling someone they're sinning against the Church=judging a person.

So for now I think I've pushed as far as I can with this family member, at least for the time being, but I think it's been a good reminder for me as to how difficult it can be to admonish anybody.  And on the flip side, I think it would be good for me to learn myself to take advice from others when they give it to me with an open heart and open mind and take it to heart to improve myself.

Pro-Life Feature II

Since I mentioned them in the last Pro-Life Feature, I figured I might as well as do a small feature on this great group.  The Knights of Columbus, founded by Father Michael McGivney in 1882, seeks to meet the needs of the community in a variety of areas such as the sick, disabled, and needy.  From providing aid to pregnancy crisis centers to working for education, the Knights strive to build up a culture of life in all aspects of the Church.  The Knights provides its 1.8 million members the opportunity to serve the Church and become men of service and action.  Want to learn more or recommend the Knights to someone you know?  Visit their website: Knights of Columbus

Too tired to fall asleep

Psalm 44.  Good stuff.

Whenever I walk into a room on the 3rd floor of the nursing home, the residents all seem to be watching Little House on the Prairie.  Love it.

One good thing about the summer:  I'm getting stuff crossed off my to-do list.  One bad thing about the summer:  I'm getting stuff crossed off my to-do list.  The more I cross off, the less I have to do, so I become lazy and resort to the computer or TV.  And I haven't been in the mood to read this week.  I did sit down with my 1 Henry IV book again today.  That's a step in the right direction.  It's good so far, just annoying to have to go to the footnotes all the time to see what the old English words mean in modern language.  Also reading The Dark Night of the Soul (a harsher version of Time for Prayer).

Tomorrow I have errands to run.  I have a few groceries to buy, I want to run over to Rockhurst to get some transcripts sent out, and maybe stop by Barnes and Noble to look at a book for preparing for the GRE.  'Cause I should probably study at some point.  And I'll make it to Mass somewhere...if not St. Peter's, then Good Counsel.

Speaking of which, I'm finally getting a time set up for my next spiritual direction.  I've been a slacker on that since before Easter.  Given how this past week has been though, I decided it was high time I email my spiritual director to set up a time for direction and Confession. Hopefully sometime early next week.

Mkay, well, I guess if I'm going to make it to morning Mass I better get to bed.  'Night.