I must perform all my actions through Mary, with Mary, and for Mary.
I am and will always be her slave of love.
Mary is my Mother, I belong to her.
Mary is my Queen, I obey her.
Mary is my Mistress, I serve her.
Mary is my Teacher, I listen to her.
Mary is my Model, I imitate her.
Mary is my Star, I follow her.
Mary is my Support, I rely on her.
Mary is my Strength, I am strong with her.
Mary is my Refuge, I seek shelter in her.
I think the most helpful and interesting homily I ever heard on this Gospel focused in on verse 30 (And Jesus, perceiving in himself that power had gone forth from him, immediately turned about in the crowd, and said, "Who touched my garments?"). Jesus was aware that "power had gone forth from him". This doesn't mean that Jesus had some sort of stored-up, limited supply of power, nor does it mean that Jesus was not in control of what He did with that power. He was aware of what He did with His power. He was intentional in what He did with it.
*Jesus knows when we come to Him in prayer. It's no surprise to Him. Try sneaking up on Jesus, and tell me how that goes for you. If anything, Jesus sneaks up on us...*
I think we need to become more aware of how we use our own "powers". Paying attention to our use of time, money, influence, even words used in conversation, can show us to whom/Whom do our hearts belong. The more we intentionally direct our powers toward union with the will of God for those resources, the more we will be directed toward the heart of Jesus.
Yes, I'm finally getting around to writing about last weekend! It's been a little challenging to get back on track as far as school is concerned, so that's been my top priority. Anywho, I'll do my best to do this day by day.
On Thursday night I decided to spend the night at the missionaries' house so that they wouldn't have to worry about picking me up in the morning with everyone else (only problem being that I left my phone charger at my house that night so they had to run by my house in the morning so I could get in anyways...oh well). Friday morning we got up around 6 and Marilyn and I rode with two of the men in our group, and the dad of one of them drove their family van. We picked up Kara and Jenna and went to the airport to meet the other group. Our plane took off around 8am or 8:30am (details are fuzzy to me) and we were on our way to Baltimore! I sat between Kara and Bob, a student leader at UMKC, and he got started teaching me how to do a rubix cube, which I was highly excited to begin to learn. Our flight was between an hour and a half to two hours, and from the Baltimore airport we took a small train to downtown Baltimore, where our hotel was located. We had a little downtime before our group began to help with hospitality.
Love it
Conference banner
View from the hotel
That evening we had opening Mass (which was beautiful...the homily had me in tears. Good start to a weekend!) and then Curtis Martin, one of the founders of FOCUS, gave the welcome address. Eventually I'll be able to download the talks, so I can remember the material and share some of the points that hit me the most. I took some notes, but not enough to do it justice. However, from that first talk I did finally learn what was meant by the New Evangelization and the springtime of the Church (go and say the St. Michael Prayer!). That night our group of women split between Chipotle and an Asian eatery, and we came back for entertainment and to settle in for the evening. I roomed with three awesome women of God and we shared our faith stories, which was beautiful.
We woke up to this weather on Saturday morning:
Yuk
That 20% chance of rain had arrived. But it was fine, we were inside except for whenever we went to eat dinner. The first talks of the day were centered on prayer, and we had a chance to pray with and for each other before Mass began.
Holy Spirit, come to our aid!
The breakout sessions for Saturday were focused on evangelization. It really impressed me how detail-oriented and goal-driven evangelization is for FOCUS. They are really intent on having any resources available for students to evanglize on campus. Favorite quote from that day: "Eternity is worth the awkwardness." I've been really hesitant about leading a Bible study and evangelizing and discipling because it's just so darn awkward. Now, I'm comfortable with the awkwardness (enough to the point that I waited outside my French classroom really awkwardly the other day to wait for a couple girls to come out to ask them into Bible study!). That evening there was Adoration and entertainment again.
A view of the lobby, where religious orders and post-graduate schools and other organizations set up their booths.
Sunday came with Mass and talks on discipleship. I just began being discipled in October, so I think I will wait a while before I have some strong, meaningful contacts to begin discipling myself, but the day definitely gave me some thoughts and encouragement as to how to go about it when it does come about. Favorite quote from that day: "Never despise small movements." It's hard to figure out the direction of FOCUS on Rockhurst campus sometimes, especially with our campus ministry not exactly open to their presence on our campus, so it was an encouraging reminder that the work that we're doing now is not for the sake of any organization, but to bring souls to Christ through His Word and the Sacraments. Adoration that evening was really powerful for me. I went to Confession beforehand and really poured out some stuff to the priest, and the peace that followed in Adoration was a blessing.
Monday began with our room being a little late to Mass...we still got there in time, but it was a little rough hustling around our room getting bags packed. We had Mass and had a little time to eat breakfast before riding with U.Conn, MIT and Boston College to the March!
Kara and Marilyn
Jacob's excited!
Group pose :-)
Bob's covered in pro-life stickers. Spreadin' the word.
This was really funny. Jacob, right, has a twin on the left who goes to a different school on the east coast. Not only were they both wearing green and white polos...
...but even the same shoes. They even had the same hard-core Minnesotan accent. 'Twas grand.
Some of the men
I can't help but think police officers on horses are cool.
And then, of course, we marched! And acted like ninjas and evaded the news somehow. Yeah. Read this if you're as upset as most of us out there. And met BadCatholic. You have to understand why I like this blog so much...blogging is quickly becoming a great avenue of apologetics and preaching the Gospel to the younger generation. His blog is relevant and witty and awesome. Check it out, really, you won't be disappointed. Anywho, if you haven't seen the viral video yet, check it out!
Nice views of the March
After the March, we went to Union Station and caught our metros to the airport (there's a good chance I got stuck in the door of the metro at one point and had to wait for another train...yeah...tourist). We flew out about 7:30 that evening from Ronald Reagan, had a connecting flight in Dallas, and made it home by 1am! It was seriously a blessed weekend, and I was excited to share it with awesome, beautiful people. If you've stuck around until now, congrats! You made it through quite possibly my longest blog post to date. Go celebrate (life)!
Now I can do it. A post of review and what I've learned from this break, emphasizing the past two weeks.
1. I learned how small I am. No pun intended about my diminutive height. For real, I am so small and weak on my own. I discovered this fact everywhere. In the billion and one mistakes I make while at work. In the moments where I'd panic and run for help to another CNA. In the early hours of the morning, returning home and having no strength left. In the mornings where I just didn't want to get out of bed. You get the picture.
The beginning of the consecration to Mary by St. Louis de Montfort is all about how insignificant we are compared to the greatness of God, but it never struck home with me until now. Suddenly that part of the consecration makes much more sense to me, because I finally discovered my insignificance. Ouch. That hurts to figure out. And I didn't like the discovery one bit. Looking back over the past two weeks, even as recently as tonight, I never missed a chance to complain to God or a friend within earshot about my difficulties. Oh humility, how you elude me... (or is it how I elude humility?)
2. Mass is my life raft. I didn't have much of an opportunity to make it to daily Mass this break, but Sundays were my beacon of hope. Even when dead tired during Mass, I was at least aware of the fact that the grace I would be receiving in the Sacrament would be sustaining. And that's what I would cling to.
3. Houses are better when filled.
4. Meals don't make themselves. And dishes don't clean themselves. Bummer.
5. Water is wonderful. I drink glasses and glasses of water after work sometimes.
6. Dads are awesome compliment-givers.
7. White roses are gloriously fragrant.
8. Nothing beats a morning with no alarm set...unless it's a morning with an alarm set to go home.
9. I talk entirely too fast and high-pitched when nervous or on a mission or excited. One of the residents is a former English teacher and is constantly telling me to slow down in my speech because she can't hear a word I'm saying. Oops.
10. Most watched movies/TV this break: Of Gods and Men, Sound of Music, The Jeweler's Shop, and news. Any news. CNN, HLN, FOX...they kept me connected to the outside world!
Have I mentioned I love love love good Catholic musicians? Sarah Bauer is right up there. She sings about everything from the extraordinary of the Mass to the ordinary of everyday...and how we are called to holiness in it all.
I *just* about had two whole days off of work to do nothing but what I wanted to get done. And then God inserted His will instead of mine, and we always know how that turns out...different from our own, most of the time. So, while it was my will to spend last night on the couch watching "Sound of Music", it was God's will that one of the CNAs got sick while at work and that I should be called in. Which is fine. He usually makes up for it somehow if I see it as an inconvenience. Therefore, He made work go extremely easy last night. When I was busy, I was super busy...but then it was quiet from about 9 till I got off work, so I got to sit and read the paper and chat with the other CNA.
I'm not going to do a review of break yet since it's not quite done, but I will tell you one thing...man is not meant to work inconsistently. The past two weeks look something like this: work 7 days, one day off, work 2 days, two days off (spent in traveling), work 3 days, 1 day off, work last night, tonight, and the next 3 days. While my account thoroughly appreciated the days of work, my body and brain did not so much enjoy the many inconsistently scheduled work days...and rather savored the days off to the fullest extent.
So, besides work, I am insanely glad that I now have friends returning to campus. One of my housemates is back for recruitment purposes for her sorority, but even though I don't see her but in passing for the time being, just the comfort of knowing she's back is wonderful. I look forward to the other two Nestmates returning this next weekend as well.
Alright, time to dine and then off to work! Enjoy the snow and winter-ness, readers!
1. He loved piety at an early age and removed himself from the world.
2. After the death of the archbishop of Bourges, William was requested to take the seat...and only did so when his general (the abbot of Citeaux) and the Pope made him (Woah. Talk about a double whammy.).
3. When he was dying he received extreme unction, prayed his night prayers, and laid on a pile of ash in his hair-cloth shirt, where he passed away. Basically, St. William was intensely awesome.
Well, my 21st came and went, and now I'm back in KC. This week, though, a handful of friends are going to start coming back to campus, which will be fantastic. I'm so ready not to be the only one here! Not only that, but I have a three day break from work this week, so I'll be able to power clean the house and get a couple more things checked off my Christmas break to-do list.
I'm so ready to start this semester! I'll be taking an on-line medical terminology course through WSU; Seminar in Medical Ethics with THE Dr. John Morris (!!!); French II; Pathophysiology; and Gen Chem II with lab. It'll be full, especially with chemistry and patho in one semester, but I'm so excited to be getting into subjects I thoroughly enjoy.
Well, readers, I'm off to work in a bit. Have a marvelous day!
2015 The way of perfection passes by way of the Cross. There is no holiness without renunciation and spiritual battle. Spiritual progress entails the ascesis and mortification that gradually lead to living in the peace and joy of the Beatitudes.--CCC
Later today will be my last day at work before I go home for two days. Bring. it. on.
When I go to work with something to look forward to the next day (aka a day off) I'm so much more motivated. Walk into work with a smile, be as helpful as I can be, power through the hard tasks...it's like game day. All my practice and hard work leads up to that point of, "OK, I can get through this, just need to make it through this and this task, and I'm going to do that by this plan."
I feel like my prayer life is much the same way these days. I need a plan to get through it. I know I need it and it's essential, but I can let my excuses get in the way. When it comes to prayer at this point, it's "game time". All my "practice" and growth leads up to those moments and minutes when I can focus on God and give myself over to Him. I can take prayer for granted, but I do believe that it's worth fighting for. Even if it means working through tiredness and disconnected thoughts, I'm going to get it done.
Such random verses stick out to me in Gospel passages...in this reading it is this line: "but standing among you--unknown to you--is the one who is coming after me". A lot of it is because it strikes a chord with the homesick part of me right now. Whenever I'm in the chapel at the Little Sisters of the Poor on break and sit by the Nativity scene, it hits me that I can comfort Jesus in His condition and He can comfort me...so we have a good time comforting each other.
God was treated as a stranger amongst the very people He had created. He wants to find a home in the heart of every human. How homesick He must be! Just looking at the manger scene, I see the God-Head seemingly so out of place, not being in some castle but in a manger with animals giving off their heat...and I see those that recognized Him were the shepherds. I have so much to learn from the shepherds. They, in their simplicity, recognized the divinely simple God in the person of Jesus Christ. They were, after Mary and Joseph, the first to make a home for Jesus in their hearts. Not the scholars or the learned at the time, but those who truly understood love (chasing after lost sheep and putting their lives on the line against wolves and thieves out for their flock...) made room in their hearts for Love.
I never want to pass by Jesus without recognizing Him. Instead, I want to invite Him readily into my heart for Him to make His home there and fill it with His presence.
And, in making a home for Him, He does not leave us homeless...He offers us a home, and that home itself is love. I've discovered that while I'm caring for one of the residents, I can think of nothing else but that person for that time. Giving a drink, reorienting the confused, turning down the covers at bedtime. That is my love. That is home...in Love I have found my home away from home. Not that I'm not homesick for my physical home (4 more days...4 more days...), but God does take care of me in that moment and help me learn a bit of what my ultimate Home will be like. There's this wonderful part of "The Jeweler's Shop" (I finally read the original script...fantastic!) where the character Adam explains to Anna that in her experience with the Bridegroom, the Bridegroom had the face of her husband because "In the Bridegroom’s face each of us finds a similarity to the faces of those with whom love has entangled us on this side of life, of existence. They are all in him." It is so true. We find Christ in each other because, in our friendships, relationships, and kinships, there is some connection of love...and in that love we find a home.
Never let Christ pass by you unrecognized, dear readers. He is in the friend that needs to vent, the sister who wants to share a laugh, the father offering advice...when you make a ready home for Him, He will make one ready for you.
