If you wish

Yes, this is a new blog post at 12:30 in the morning.  Yes, I am aware I am insane.  I had a semi-insane night to match.  Which consisted of me driving to an Adoration chapel, forgetting the code, and driving back.  Considering I really needed Jesus in this night, it was definitely a bummer.  Good thing I have a wonderful boyfriend who was up willing to talk a little anyways.  Yes, it was a rough night.

See, I have this bad habit of wanting things to go my way, and when change gets in the way of it then I battle it out with the change, usually coming out the loser with a bruised ego and a dose of humility for medicine.  Sometimes the after effects feel worse than the battle itself. It's in the post-battle with change that more of my character is uncovered to me.  I'm naive, impatient, greedy, vain, and pretty haughty in general.  Ew. Gross combination. 

So, tonight, I attempted to go see my Physician to talk about a treatment strategy.  Didn't exactly work out, but there's always tomorrow.  The point is that I'm trying...right?

"If you wish, you can make me clean."

Quote of the Day XXIV

“Always stay close to this Heavenly Mother, because she is the sea to be crossed to reach the shores of Eternal Splendour.”--Saint Padre Pio

A little scared

Actually, who am I fooling...I'm a lot scared. My pre-med committee interview is today.  On one hand it's just a mock interview to give a feel for how an interview with a physician assistant program would go.  On the other hand, a really really awesome letter of recommendation is riding on how I do.  Which shouldn't be that big of a deal. But, at the moment, in my heart and in my mind, it's huge.  Kind of one of those "If I don't do good at this then how am I going to be good enough to get into the schools I'm looking at" feelings.  Typical, right?  In the past year, I only remember being this scared:  on my first day of work at the Little Sisters, job-searching in the fall, on my first day of clinicals this summer, or having a difficult conversation with a friend.  So, yeah, I'm freaking out.  I'll be secluding myself for a couple hours in the chapel this afternoon before the interview.  Could I ask for some prayers?  It'll be at three.  You rock :-)

Daily Gospel XI: Matthew 6: 1-6, 16-18

"Amen, I say to you, they have received their reward."


Wait, they've already received a reward?!  Well, that's not fair...how come I have to wait the rest of my life for mine?


But, really, what is the reward for being noticed?  You strut a little on campus, say all the right things to have the image you want, have a reputation for...how long?  Until the next generation of college students comes along and has no idea who you are? 


And yet...it really does draw you in sometimes.  I do find myself wanting notice for the impact I'm God is making.  Aren't I the one doing all the leg work here?  


What I love about this Gospel passage is its focus on integrity and consistency.  Not just with actions, but with the movements of the heart.  If I know I'm going to be praying where everyone can see, or if I'm going to be rocking the ashes on my forehead, then my interior life better be keeping up.  This Gospel in simpler terms might be, "Walk the walk and talk the talk." The hypocrites in this passage aren't receiving just attention because it's some kind of punishment; it's because that's the reward most suited to their interior life.  If their interior life was up to par with what they were showing outwardly, this Gospel might have gone a different way.


Which brings us to the person that Jesus talks about, the one who prays and makes offerings in secret.  It's not that worship shouldn't be public; I think Jesus really relates to the human condition here.  Better for one to worship in private where pride won't be evoked than for that person to be doing the same in public and start to savor the attention of man than the attention of God.  It kind of ties back into St. Paul's teachings on marriage.  At one point St. Paul seems to offer marriage as simply an inferior alternative to the celibate lifestyle.  Rather, St. Paul recognizes the graces of marriage, thus having the insight to see that if one has temptations, at least marriage has graces to purify that person and may be the better fit for a vocation.  Similarly, here we see Jesus really delving into the human psyche and saying, "Hey, it's great that you want to pray, but why don't you do it in this fashion so you can keep your integrity and I can still bless you for your efforts?"


It's so important for us to have Catholic peers to hold us accountable for our sacrifices in Lent.  We should offer our sacrifices privately so as not to draw attention to our sufferings; however, we also need to recognize that we are in community in the One Body of Christ, and so encourage one another as Lent progresses.  "Iron is sharpened by iron; one person sharpens another."--Proverbs 27:17

Presenting Jesus

"If Christianity, as so often and so rightly has been said, is not primarily a doctrine but a person, Jesus Christ, it follows that the proclamation of this person and of one's relationship with Him is the most important thing, the beginning of all true evangelization and the very condition for making such a thing possible. To reverse this order and put the doctrines and obligations of the Gospel before the discovery of Jesus would be like putting the carriages in front of the railway engine that is supposed to pull them. The person of Jesus opens the highway of the heart for the acceptance of everything else. Anyone who has once known the living Jesus has no further need to be goaded along; we ourselves burn with desire to know his thought, his will, his word. It is not on the authority of the Church that we accept Jesus, but on the authority of Jesus that we accept and love the Church. So the first thing the Church has to do is not present herself to the world, but present Jesus. Insistence on the importance of a personal encounter with Jesus Christ is not a sign of subjectivism or emotionalism but is the translation, on to the spiritual and pastoral place, of a dogma central to our faith: that Jesus Christ is 'a person.'"--Father Raniero Cantalamessa

This quote was spoken in one of the FOCUS Summit talks.  And...it's beautiful.

I want so much for others around me to discover/encounter/be touched by beauty.  I think, maybe, I've missed many opportunities to introduce somebody into relationship with Jesus and instead try to introduce doctrine first.  Oooops.  This has been a spiritual 2x4 lately...why do you think you can put the cart before the engine?  Why do you think you can put conclusions before the question/invitation?  Why do you expect people to accept the Church's teachings on contraception before introducing them to how Jesus has sanctified marriage and brought meaning to human suffering and let the children come to Him?

My spiritual director asked me what I wanted to focus on until the next time we meet.  I don't know what led me to say it except the Holy Spirit, but I said friendship with Jesus.  The past three weeks I've been very convicted concerning my friendship with Jesus Christ and how it touches my other friendships and relationships.  I've discovered that I focus very much on the conclusions.  In my friendships, I forget that I have to work on them.  I get complacent...pure and simple.  That's because I (think) I've worked through the reasoning, come to the conclusion, and I think it's pure and simple like that, and leave it at that.  I let myself believe that there's no more questions to ask to get to know each other, or even that there's no way they can touch my life further.  Not that I'm ever discontent by that...I actually get comfortable with that.  I get comfortable thinking how much my spiritual life has grown and get comfortable exactly where I am, thinking that my present state is my conclusion.  I think it's why I'm so comfortable and excited by doctrines of the Church.  I've worked through the reasoning and I'm comfortable with the conclusions...they make sense for me, so it's beyond me sometimes that others still have to work their way up to the conclusions.  Everything that the Church says on (dignity of life, social justice, economics/politics, Sacraments, etc.) are enough for me, and it surprises me that it's not fulfilling for others...

So my friendship with Jesus impacts my human friendships, and further how I relate with...anyone.  And I forget the person of Jesus.  Rather, I forget those moments where He touched my heart and loved me in my brokenness and THEN led me, slowly, to the natural ends of a relationship with Jesus Christ.  But now, I get hung up by the details that I forget the big picture.

I mean, let's even take a virtue for example.  Patience.  Patience by itself hurts.  Why in the WORLD would I EVER fall in love with PATIENCE of all things?  But I can fall in love with Jesus Christ.  Who can change hearts.  Who can show me how He orders the universe, and is Author of my life and Lord of time, and that, if I love Him, then I want to accomplish His will, no matter how long I have to wait.  And THEN I love patience, because it pleases HIM, and when you're in love, you want to make your Beloved happy.

Basically, I'm a fallen human being.  Surprise!!!!  And because of that, my priorities and will are disordered.  But, by the grace of God through the person of Jesus Christ and His Church, His Bride, I have the tools and help to learn the will of God to learn how to order my life to become a reflection of His.  Further, it presents the tools to help others to also enter relationship with Him.  I pray that I may always bring people to Jesus first and foremost and allow Him to lead them the rest of the way.

Picture/News Item of the Day XIX

So, I needed to escape the weighing news of our nation for a little bit and return to the joy and beauty of Mary.  Here's a wonderful, reflective podcast:  Reflections on Mary by Fr. Jeremy Leatherby

Health Care Ethics

May I just say that God's pretty cool?  He planned this semester perfectly...at the same time I'm learning how to dialog with others about the HHS mandate, he threw in this awesome class called "Seminar in Medical Ethics" with a superb teacher who is using a text for the class that he edited that hits the nail on the head.  Without completely writing out the entire chapter for everyone to read, which I wish I could, I'd like to highlight for you some of the key points that really tie into what's going on now politically:

"From it's earliest beginnings, the Catholic Church has ministered to the sick and dying of the world. The Catholic involvement in health care is considered an important extension of the healing ministry of Jesus, to which all Christians are called."
"Even today, as many hospitals and clinics close due to financial losses or form bold, new partnerships in order to compete in today's health care market, the Catholic presence in health care remains strong. As a natural consequence, Catholic scholars have regularly addressed moral issues relating to health care, long before the term "bioethics" was coined."
"However, under the current influences of secular humanism, fueled in part by the political notion of the 'separation of Church and State,' the views and arguments of Catholics appear less and less welcome in public discussions of health care ethics. Some question whether a specifically 'Catholic' approach to health care ethics is legitimate. The larger concern here extends to anyone who follows a specific religious tradition. Certainly American society actively promotes religious tolerance, viewing religion as a personal and private choice. But does a religious person have a place in public discourse in this country, or must a person of faith live with a separated psyche--private religious beliefs and secularized public ideas? At a time when America is recognizing the need to empower the disadvantaged in society, and to provide more open and public forums that recognize America's diversity, the religious voice is becoming marginalized in those very same forums. The be fair, the religious person is always 'officially' welcome in the public forum as a 'citizen'--no one is overtly denied the opportunity to voice opinions. But the unfortunate trend today is that the arguments of religious persons are often dismissed in the public arena and glossed over by the mainstream media simply because they come from religious people! Part of the problem here is that the difference between a 'religious argument' and 'an argument from a religious person' is being blurred. Because of this, religious voices are being neutralized within public discussions of health care and bioethics, as well as in other public policy debates in our society."
"Even the very identity of religious health care facilities as 'religious' and 'denominational' is coming under fire in the public arena. there is increased government and public pressure on religious medical facilities to perform treatments that secular society deems necessary and important, yet which conflict with these hospitals' religious missions. When the conflicts are pointed out to the media, the religious objections are generally viewed unfavorably and are cast as attempts to 'force' religious views upon others. Religious hospitals and health care facilities are charged with being unresponsive to the needs of the community, and--what seems worse to many in the pubic forum--intolerant of others. This has been increasingly noticeable in recent years regarding reproductive rights and women's health issues, HIV and AIDS, and issues related to the so-called 'right to die.' The reasons for not providing certain treatments, drugs, and services are characterized as 'Catholic reasons'--not just 'reasons.' How can Catholic health care institutions and other faith-based medical facilities respond if the 'religious' voice is marginalized in the public debate of these important health care issues?"
"...I want to suggest two specific reasons why there is, indeed, a  need for a 'Catholic' approach to bioethics within contemporary American society...First, I would insist that the Catholic approach brings to the table unique perspective that is founded on a carefully thought-out understanding of the human person--an understanding that is lacking within the general arena of bioethical discussion. Second, I believe that developing a specifically 'Catholic' approach to bioethics is appropriate for Catholic scholars as part of fulfilling their temporal mission as Christians."

"In regard to the specific role of philosophy in Catholic scholarship, John Paul II went on to note in Fides et Ratio:  Philosophical thought is often the only ground for understanding and dialog with those who do not share our faith...Such a ground for understanding and dialog is all the more vital nowadays, since the most pressing issues facing humanity--ecology, peace, and the co-existence of different races and cultures, for instance--may possibly find a solution if there is a clear and honest collaboration between Christians and the followers of other religions and all those who, while not sharing a religious belief, have at heart the renewal of humanity."

"What, then, does the Catholic teacher, nurse, philosopher, doctor, theologian, psychologist, etc., bring to the 'real world' of public discourse regarding issues in bioethics? First and foremost is the focus on the human person that is inherent within the philosophical and theological traditions of the Church, and the primacy of the person over the community. This focus on the human person is crucial in today's public discussions of health care ethics, especially in the growing field of medical research and technological development. One must not mistake the current favoritism for 'autonomy' in American bioethics for a genuine respect for h\the person. Abortion, euthanasia, assisted suicide, genetic manipulation, cloning, and embryonic stem cell research are often justified in the name of autonomy and individual choice, yet all pose serious threats to vulnerable, human persons."

Morris, John F. "Part I: Why "Catholic" Health Care Ethics?" Medicine, Health Care, and Ethics: Catholic Voices. Washington, D.C.: Catholic University of America, 2007. 1-13. Print.

Like I said, it's very forward thinking.  This was published in 2007 before everything with the mandate was going on, but I think it applies very directly to the current situation.

Song recommendation of the day XXII

So, I'm breaking away from the music style that I usually put on here and putting a little spin on things.
Bringing some T-Swift into the mix.  At our most recent Hawks for Life meeting one of the girls gave a presentation, and played this song while showing a clip of pictures from the March for Life.  Let me tell ya, if you pay attention to the lyrics, it's powerful!!  Props, T-Swift, props...  Without further ado, enjoy the song Change by Taylor Swift.

 

Celebrate!

I could go on another rant about all this silliness going on in our nation over the mandate, but I won't.  Nope, I refuse.  Instead, I will ooze out my JOY over the Catholic ACTION going on because of it.  I mean, really, people are waking up to their faith, whether they like it or not!  This alone is a big deal!!  

Celebratin' it up. Catholic style.

I'll even go a step further...this may be one of the most important times in the history of the American Catholic Church.  We are living in a prime time to die to ourselves and live it up for our faith.  And we get to be around others of our same Catholic belief, doing the same thing, and push one another on in our struggle (And kudos to our Christian brethren standing by our sides.  Because they see what's going on too.).  I don't know about you, but I'm super stoked for what our future holds in the next couple of years.  Either we will persevere and ensure that this mandate against religious freedom does not last, or the mandate will remain and we will see a huge Catholic resistance and America will get its wake up call as hospitals and schools close.

Yup.  It's coming.

Either way, it's a win-win situation.  So be strong in the Lord, and celebrate!  You're a part of the New Evangelization!  Breathe in the air of the Springtime of the Church and let's live it up for the Lord!

“Joy is the serious business of Heaven.”--C.S. Lewis

St. Jerome Emiliani

1. His conversion story sounds a lot like St. Ignatius of Loyola's...military leader, imprisoned, didn't need Christ, then had a conversion and allowed Christ to enter his life, thereby leaving behind his worldliness.

2. He had a small stint as the mayor of Treviso before returning home to Venice to enter the priesthood.

3.  He devoted the rest of his life to helping the poor and orphaned that had been devastated by famine and plague left over from the war until he succumbed to the illness himself.

I seem to keep returning to this...

I’ve seen my share of arguments in support of Planned Parenthood, abortion and contraception.

But there is one that gets to me every time.

See, I’m one for playing fair when I’m in a debate.  I’ll listen to the other side respectfully, look into their sources, and then find the sources that refute what they’ve presented me and wait for them to give me a source/information to answer back in a satisfactory way.  I do NOT call names and don’t tolerate demeaning the other person.  So maybe I’ve not been vocal enough in letting the other side know that, when they say this phrase, or anything along the same lines, I am offended and would like them to think through the thought…

“I stand for the rights of women and their health care.”

Whenever that phrase or anything along those lines is said directly to me, I have to believe the person is just not thinking in that moment.  I AM a woman.  And very much concerned for women’s health care.  And so, by saying what they just said, they are not only saying I’m somehow not concerned about other women, but also they are implying I am less of a woman for not supporting contraception/abortion.

Um.  False.

I am very much a woman.  And just because I choose not to be chained to the thought that Planned Parenthood is the only source of affordable family planning/health care, does not mean I am attempting to sweep away the rights of women and force them into uncomfortable situations.  I mean, for Pete’s sakes, I’m a WOMAN!  I care about the fate of womanhood, obviously.

Maybe it’s not just their fault for thinking that we, as pro-lifers, are just dead set on taking away a “right” from women considering contraception/abortion.  We haven’t been talking in positives.  Well, allow me to go on a give-the-women-the-power tirade…

1.  Pope Paul VI Institute.  Has been doing scientific research, educational programs, and offering professional, caring, moral patient care for 30 years.  They educate on NaPro Technology, utilize NFP, and foster an environment where women can learn about their bodies (woah, who’d’ve thunk to do that…) and where couples can communicate.  Instead of pumping your body full of chemicals and covering the symptoms, they get to the root of the issue and address illnesses and infertility.  Bam.

2.  Pro-Life Outreaches.  I do believe we need to follow up with women and their children if we’re really supposed to encourage them to go to term and deliver their children.  It just doesn’t get talked up enough.  THIS is what should be all over Facebook!!  Food pantries, pregnancy crisis centers, community outreach programs…we are pro-women AND pro-baby!

3.  Chastity and Abstinence.  Yes, I am a woman.  Yes, I choose to save sex for marriage.  Yes, I am proud of it!  My sexuality is a great and beautiful part of my femininity, and I choose to use this great gift wisely and morally.  Women need to take back responsibility of the gift they’ve been given. Women need to stop criminalizing men. How about THAT for empowering women???  (I haven’t forgotten about you, men…you have a great gift given to you as well to invest in wisely.  Forgive me, this portion of my rant was directed just toward women.  While my attention is turned toward you, though, please remember that you have a great gift in your masculinity, and to whom much is given, much is expected.  Never compromise a woman’s dignity.  Hold your brothers-in-Christ accountable.  Be in control of yourself.)

*Fun fact:  While browsing the Exposing Planned Parenthood Q&A page, I came across this information.  Not that we should settle for this, but it's a good point against those who maintain that Planned Parenthood is the only place for women to turn to...

Q: Won’t people be stuck with nowhere to turn for health care without Planned Parenthood?
A: Planned Parenthood would love you to believe they are the only place to access free or low cost healthcare, but that is absolutely false. Nearly 7,000 Federally Qualified Health Centers in the U.S. provide comprehensive health care for men, women and children, instead of the narrow spectrum of care offered by Planned Parenthood.
FQHCs are able to provide annual exams, STD testing, all birth control methods and everything else Planned Parenthood provides – except abortion.  They also provide many services Planned Parenthood does not offer including vaccinations, x-rays, vision, dental, prenatal care and primary care to all members of the family.*

Quote of the Day XXIII

Better to illuminate than merely to shine, to deliver to others contemplated truths than merely to contemplate.

--St. Thomas Aquinas 

Hearing the Battle Cry

I'm going to rant.  Everybody's allowed to rant...right?  Right.

All this debate on Facebook about Komen and Planned Parenthood is horrible.  And hurts my heart.  People standing by Planned Parenthood for the sake of the mammograms they claim to give.  Because Planned Parenthood "helps the poor" and "empowers women".  I'm sorry, but women can get mammograms elsewhere at other clinics (I have to believe that other clinics besides Planned Parenthood actually give low-cost women's health care...for some reason, women have it conditioned in their brain that only Planned Parenthood offers free services...) and putting an IUD into a uterus that gives off hormones and giving out contraception that ends pregnancy (you have no idea how many times in the past few days I've read that pregnancy doesn't start till implantation and that the life of the child starts at various times other than conception) doesn't sound like empowerment to me.  Sounds like entrapment.  And that's putting it nicely.  And does nobody care that Planned Parenthood is founded on the morals of eugenics??  Nope, not if the "health of women" is at stake.  Good.  grief.

The Bible study that Em and I are trying to get going had a total of 0 show up on the first night.  Despite the supposed interest.  I heard a few "maybe next week" (which will turn into the week after that, and the week after that).  If it's God's will for us to get these women to read the Scripture, He sure is making it frustrating.  Luckily our missionary is super supportive and encouraging.

Alright, now for the cool-off.  Tonight, having all this swirl around in my head, I went into the chapel and read Psalm 9-10.  I'd like to have you read Psalm 10: 1-15.

Why, LORD, do you stand afar

and pay no heed in times of trouble?

Arrogant scoundrels pursue the poor;

they trap them by their cunning schemes.

II

The wicked even boast of their greed;

these robbers curse and scorn the LORD.

In their insolence the wicked boast:

“God does not care; there is no God.”

Yet their affairs always succeed;

they ignore your judgment on high;

they sneer at all who oppose them.

They say in their hearts, “We will never fall;

never will we see misfortune.”

Their mouths are full of oaths, violence, and lies;

discord and evil are under their tongues.

They wait in ambush near towns;

their eyes watch for the helpless

to murder the innocent in secret.

They lurk in ambush like lions in a thicket,

hide there to trap the poor,

snare them and close the net.

The helpless are crushed, laid low;

they fall into the power of the wicked,

Who say in their hearts, “God has forgotten,

shows no concern, never bothers to look.”

III

Rise up, LORD! God, lift up your hand!

Do not forget the poor!

Why should the wicked scorn God,

say in their hearts, “God does not care”?

But you do see;

you take note of misery and sorrow;

you take the matter in hand.

To you the helpless can entrust their cause;

you are the defender of orphans.

Break the arm of the wicked and depraved;

make them account for their crimes;

let none of them survive.

I read that, and realized it was just what I was thinking and feeling.  I just want true justice and truth and light brought into the world, but the opposite is what thrives and succeeds.  This is not me despairing.  This is me hearing the battle cry.  We, the Church, are being challenged right now to redouble our efforts.  We are in the New Evangelization!  We are the springtime of the Church!   We cannot wait to be soldiers of Christ until a more convenient time.  I resolve to fight the fight and to stand my ground.

P.S. St. Monica rocks my socks.  St. Augustine would laugh at her when she prayed for him.  Laugh and mock the prayers.  Just think if she had given up because of that...we wouldn't have the great thoughts of St. Augustine that added so much to our Catholic faith.  Let's think of that when we're mocked by those who disagree with us.  St. Monica, pray for us!!