Day after Christmas

After a very blessed Christmas I'm back in KC.  My days home were all too short, but very filled with family and little cousins and news of two new little cousins (children of cousins, specifically) on the way!  Today I was scheduled "on-call" at Pottery Barn Kids, which translates to I call in an hour before my scheduled time and PBK 100% of the time doesn't need me on those days...but I still have to plan on the possibility of being needed for work.  So my parents and brother took me up to KC today, and while my parents and I walked around the Plaza, Jake went to see his one of his Godsons, since the family was in town and he probably won't see them again for a couple of years.  My parents and I had fun going into some snazzy stores and I got to introduce them to PBK (their eyes got nice and big and round at the old fashioned toys and gifts on display).  After a couple hours we went back to my house and I called into PBK, and then when I found out they didn't need me I called Sister Maria Catherine about coming in for more orientation.  It was really...really really...hard to say bye to my parents this time around.  I don't want to say too much more than I'm having really really bad homesickness right now, and I could use some prayers for that.  But they did have to leave, and I went to work.  We had 5 or 6 residents sick tonight, so it put some more stress on the three of us CNAs there, but it was still a pretty good night.  The floor I'm on in the nursing home happens to also have the main chapel, so I go in there on my lunch break (evening shift lunch breaks usually happen between 8pm and 10pm) and there was a beautiful Nativity set up, which made me super happy.  And after break there were only a few things to do before having to leave, so it was smooth sailing after 10pm.  And now I lay me down to sleep...  I have some errands to run tomorrow and work at PBK tomorrow night.  The busier I keep, the faster time will pass until the 5th when I get to go home next is my thought.  So, goodnight!

Two Posts in One

I really wanted to get both of these posts in before Christmas...so I'm putting them into one post!  Don't worry, I'll separate them so you won't get confused :-)

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“Wherever you go I will go…”

In my current vocation, the sub-vocation of being a friend is a very important one to me.  I love finding time to foster friendships.  At this point in most of our college lives, we aren’t able to go spend money and eat at a restaurant to chat, but there’s plenty of opportunities of meeting at each others’ houses to do meaningful activities like baking and playing games…something in which we can talk and catch up on life and share a fun activity at the same time.  Though finding time to do these things can be especially hard at this point in our lives, with conflicting break schedules, conflicting job schedules, and conflicting social and family lives even, when time does present itself, I love to take hold of it and treasure it.  At school it usually looks like this:  one or two of us are studying in one room in the evening, and then another one joins in, and then maybe another one, and before we know it it’s way past when we thought we would be going to bed, but we don’t want it to end because we never have time to do that with our school work and crazy lives.

Recently, I was watching to a Life on the Rock episode featuring Sarah Swafford.  Before she talked, they did a short interview with a Nigerian priest interning at EWTN.  Nigeria has many, many vocations coming from it right now in the religious life and priesthood, and when asked why, he said that a persecuted Church is always a strong Church…it is comfort that is the seed of destruction in the Church.  I started thinking of this in terms of my friendships.  When a friendship noticeably starts suffering is when I go out of my way to make sure I put effort and care into that friendship…it is when I become comfortable in a friendship that I begin to not find time to meet with that friend, or simply ask how they are doing on a regular basis.  I guess that’s part of the message of Advent:  don’t get comfortable.  Be awake, be ready, have oil for your lamps, be joyful, be prepared.

I’ve been reflecting a lot lately on the Book of Ruth, and specifically on the friendship of Naomi and Ruth…and how far I have to go in my friendships.  Ruth’s friendship was so unconditional.  It transcended conditions because it was infused with love and loyalty.  I am all too guilty of thinking of friendships as exchanges…they shared that much information with me and went that deep, so in exchange I share this much of my life.  While there is certainly balance in friendship, there also needs to be trust and vulnerability.  I can only imagine how uncertain Ruth was of her future, but none of that mattered too much because Naomi had been such a caring mother-in-law that Ruth could only think about being a loyal friend in return.  Her loyalty blessed Naomi more than either of them could ever dream.  And Ruth is one of a few women named in the genealogy of Jesus, so great was her blessing.

I want to be a Ruth friend.  I want God to bless my friendships with spiritual fruits which will be pleasing to Him…I want to lead my friends to Heaven.

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Well, I finally put the news in letters (I wanted some close friends to find out in a way other than a media source) and on Facebook, so now I’ll go ahead and blog about it…I’m a part-time CNA!

I’ve been praying for a position with the Little Sisters for months…really since I volunteered there last spring.  When I first went on my discernment retreat in October of 2010 with them, my pull towards the medical field was disappearing, and I was questioning myself on whether I’d really stick with that emphasis through college.  Seeing the joy of the Sisters in their work, though, helped me glimpse just how I want to use faith and medicine in my future line of work.  Volunteering there for a whole week confirmed it even more for me, and I realized that it would help a lot if I got certified as a nurse’s aide.  Whenever I first mentioned it to Sister Amy, she was thrilled and said she’d try to get me in as soon as I returned to school.

Well, I got to school, and there was no position to be had.  There were simply no open positions for me to fill, and so I began waiting and at the same time searching for other positions, and eventually broadening my search to anything, not just nursing homes.  And so, I got in with Pottery Barn Kids.  Just as seasonal help, so I fully believed that, once January hit, I would again begin searching for work.

And so, the Sunday right after finals, I went to visit the Little Sisters, thinking I was going to be wrapping boxes with the residents (I think I even blogged about that before I went, come to think of it).  I got there and found Sister Amy, who informed me that there had actually been a couple of groups of entertainers there that afternoon and I would not be needed to do that original wrapping idea, but that it was still good that I had come, because Sister Maria Catherine was wanting to speak with me.  Now, if I haven’t explained how the Jeanne Jugan Center is set up, it’s divided into 4 floors.  The first is for more independent residents who can still come and go (there’s also a separated set of apartments for independent living).  The second floor is for residents who can move around less, but are still pretty healthy for the most part.  The third floor is the infirmary and has many of the sicker and more elderly residents, and the fourth floor has the convent.  My interactions have mostly been on the third floor, volunteering in the infirmary, where Sister Amy is in charge, while Sister Maria Catherine does more with the second floor.  Which is why I was puzzled at first why Sister Maria Catherine would want to visit with me specifically.  So, of course, Sister Amy went on to say that there was an empty position and Sister Maria wanted to talk to me about starting as a CNA there!

I’m still struck with a little disbelief.  I had really begun to think that that door of my life was closed and, for whatever reason, God was just not calling me to work there.  I knew that Sister Amy Kristine was working hard to get me in there, but just how hard, I soon came to learn.  I found out that the Mother Provincial who at one point had visited the Jeanne Jugan Center had found out that they were trying to hire me, and SHE insisted to Mother Rose Marie and Sister Amy that they should get me working there!  Sister Amy worked her scheme all the way to Mother Provincial!  Woah!!  Sister Amy said that, after that, the push to get me in was even more intense, and they were finally able to hire me.

So, I’ve been filling out paper work and got my physical and drug screen and am just about ready to start.    I’ll be working every other weekend, both Saturdays and Sundays, from 3pm to 11:30pm.  My first day will be December 31^st (I get to spend New Year’s Eve working…I’m actually really excited about it!!).

I guess I’m using this post to celebrate…but also to say thank you.  I know there were a lot of friends with whom I was confiding my hopes and despairs about job-searching, and all of the prayers are what helped me to this.  St. Joseph is amazing, and although I’m impatient and was always complaining about how slow he was in helping me…he was helping me all along, by helping me learn acceptance of God’s will and timeline and denial of my own.  So, friends, thank you for your prayers.

Wizard of Oz wisdom

Oh, the things you can get out of old movies.  Wizard of Oz is chock-full of wisdom.  I think we all have a bit of each of the main characters in us.

 Scarecrow:  I can't figure out this problem.  It's beyond me.  Why do I try?

  

Lion:  I just...I just can't face up to these problems.  I'm so scared and alone.  No one can help me out of this.

 Tin man:  All these people around me have so much compassion and caring.  I'll never measure up to the good that they're working.

  

Dorothy:  Oh, home is so far away!  I just need to get to back to the start and make everything good again.

The longer we stay away from Confession, the more we are captured in our failings, the more we repeat these thoughts to ourselves.  Sin not only breaks our relationship with God, but it also hurts the Mystical Body of Christ and distorts our own self-image.  The grace administered through the Sacraments brings about such healing and gives us correct vision.  Through constant conversion and recourse to the Sacraments, our previous lies we were telling ourselves can be transformed.

 Scarecrow:  I have all these tools I've been given, and I have my God-given brain.  I may not have all the answers, but I can certainly do good by what I have!

Lion:  Failure may happen, but as long as I have Christ as my strength, I need not fear!

 Tin man:  I have caring, and I have the right-sized heart for me.  The more I surround myself with the people I care for and the Love of God, the more I will continue to grow in devotion and adoration.

Dorothy:  I am never far away from home.  All I have to do is turn around, right around into His Arms of Love.

Quote of the Day XXI

"Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, “What! You too? I thought I was the only one!"

--C. S. Lewis

Finding Jesus

While praying the final decade of the Rosary last night, it was surprisingly the 5th mystery that caught my attention.  Looking back at this semester, I see how anxious I've been to find Jesus in everything, and how disappointed I've been when it seemed I couldn't.  One of the core values at school is to "Find Jesus in All Things".  Which I utterly fail at 95% of the time.  I either pay attention for a while to "looking" for Him and then give up, or don't even begin my search altogether. But the 5th mystery reminded me that Mary, our Blessed Mother, and St. Joseph, her spouse, searched for three days for Jesus!  Three days for them, that most blessed Couple,  to find Jesus in the midst of Jerusalem.  If it took them three days to find Jesus, why do I get discouraged when I don't see Him right away?

Their search was a most blessed search.  Joseph and Mary sought with hope...without despair, without fear, without being frantic.  "Perfect Love casts out all fear"; Mary searched for her Child, with hope and joy in her heart, accepting God's will for their results.  Jesus would never remain hidden forever. 

As Advent continues, may you discover that joy in your hearts that carries you on in your search for the Babe in the manger, Jesus Christ. 

Christmas (break) is here!

There's something a little sad about seeing all of my housemates' piles of packing for Christmas spread throughout the living room.  I look forward to having this break to be mostly alone to catch up on reading (there will be a whole paragraph about that), and I won't be lonely because I'll have work, Adoration, and a few friends that are also staying up here with whom to keep company.  But I can't help but also long for the day where I pack up everything to go back home for a while.

This weekend on Saturday I have an aunt and cousin who will be coming to visit for about an hour while they pass through KC (yay!!!) and Sunday I'll go do some "gift-wrapping" at the Little Sisters'.  I put that in quotes because I'll just be wrapping boxes, but the residents will sit around and "help" while I wrap...Sister thought they would really get a kick out of being "involved" in wrapping presents, like they used to when they were not in the nursing home.  Hence, I plan on decking myself out in holiday apparel and going to have fun with the residents :-)

So.  Books.  So many many books to get through and to begin!  Since I was basically done with my last final on Wednesday (easiest finals week ever), I made the most of my time...I finished my last 20 pages of Lord of the Rings (finally!  That was basically all I've had left to read in it since August, but I successfully kept ignoring it or not having time for it until this week), I finished my Medjugorje book, and I finished book 4 of the Anne of Green Gables series.  I'm now on book 5 of the series, and I've also started Orthodoxy by Chesterton.  At this rate I'll be able to take home quite a few of my books and bring some new ones from home.  Taking a long, extended, much-needed break from Facebook definitely helped with this.  And, since the departure from Facebook went so well, I'm continuing it in a way...I'm back on, but only for event purposes.  I already emailed a bunch of friends over Facebook and emphasized I didn't want to be just "Facebook friends"...I wanna be real-life friends!  Basically, don't try to keep in contact with me over Facebook at this point.  I will be avoiding it heavily, and catching up on reading and being present to the here and now.

Finals went super well.  I had already had my piano final 2 weeks ago, and my anatomy and physiology final the week before finals week, leaving only my anatomy and physiology lecture final, John: Gospel and Epistles final, French final, and Religion, Ethnicity and Race final.  The RER final (it's so much easier to just abbreviate) ended up being 3 essay questions, each no more than 2 pages long, to turn in at the time of the final.  And I had those written back on Sunday already.  Easy sneezy.  So I had the other three in a period of two days.  Tuesday was the John final and A&P final.  Wednesday was the French final.  And I was done.  Why can't every finals week be like that?  Crazy.  So Thursday I just turned in my essays, watched a movie in the XL dorm, and went to 9pm FOCUS Mass for the holy day.  Today I have nothing to do until I go to work from 4-8, so I will be cleaning my room and, hmm, probably reading...

Alright, well, that's all I've got, dear readers.  I pray the waiting  of Advent continues to awaken in your hearts deep peace and joy.  Blessings!