- I started what I consider to be my first "big-kid" full-time position in a field I studied. This was a huge step forward for me. Though probably not where I will be long-term, it is a great place to begin. Work, for better or worse, probably dominates 2016 for me. The reality of my work is that it is also a ministry, which adds a completely different dynamic. There are souls involved, which can be a heavy burden. But it is one of great joy as well. I had many firsts, some failures, a few accomplishments. I have been building relationships with the kids and teens under my charge and look forward to continuing to develop a program that will be sustainable even after I depart some years down the road. The youth director before me did a great job in implementing good classroom materials (her strength was much more in education, which I do envy a bit at times), yet an overall structure for the program has been sorely lacking, and so I continue to try to develop something that will be lasting. On a smaller scale, I survived coordinating my first summer trip with the kids as well as our fall excursion to the Kansas City Youth Conference. I am in the midst of summer 2017 planning and scheming new ideas for the next school year already.
- Admittedly, a lot of spring 2016 before my uncle's and dad's illnesses is now a blur. Obviously starting a job has something to do with that, but June 2016 will forever be the month that saw my family tested and rocked by health issues. My uncle now, pray God, is interceding for us, and my dad made a remarkable recovery. Shortly after, the son of dear family friends, who was a childhood schoolmate and a great seminarian, was taken at a young age. It's so hard to understand why these things happen. If we dwell on it too heavily we end up thinking in circles. We must trust in the outcomes and even blessings which follow.
- We have a while before we have any type of major wedding anniversary, but that doesn't mean that the odd years of marriage in-between don't matter, even if we are at the beginnings. We celebrated our 2nd anniversary in May 2016 with a snazzy dinner. It is ever a learning process. While getting married is discerned, I don't think it is stressed often enough that discernment continues on into marriage itself. We are constantly discerning together various issues that relationships bring...healthy communication, financial goals, growing our family, struggles and sins and overcoming them, and overall becoming saints. While there may be days I question God about how He has lead me here, they can't beat the overwhelming moments of peace that my husband brings into my life. The cheesy phrase that he isn't perfect, but he's perfect for me certainly rings true.
- Of course there are a million other moments that fill in between these themes, both personal and of a more global scale. We do, after all, live in the world. What the repercussions of 2016 will bring will be interesting to say the least. I don't think it was truly any better or worse than any other year. The constant documentation and rapid sharing of life on social media has something to do with the social conscious that many people just aren't aware of. Any other year is just as eventful, but the scale of media is just so vast now that we find things out and it just seems more overwhelming.
Friday, December 30, 2016
Year-end review
2016. Many on social media are "over it." To be fair, the quick succession of passing of Carrie Fisher and then her mother was quite heart-breaking, and I can't begin to fathom the grief of her daughter. In my own life it has brought its own beautiful chaotic messiness. So here's to 2016:
Monday, November 21, 2016
Random Chant: Song Suggestion XXXVIII
I am coming off of a time where I have been listening to my "newly" downloaded (as of September) music on repeat for...a while...and coming back around to wanting new music choices, which means I turn on Pandora. I love the sacred music that gets interspersed in my stations.
Monday, November 7, 2016
Seven Quick Takes
I didn't feel like sticking to the topics of the regular journal entries, so we'll wing Seven Quick Takes today...
1. My weekend was a whole slew of awkwardness and emotional mess. The icing on this not so nice cake was playing a Litany of the Saints with my youth group and bombing it. Like, cringingly, awfully, full on blew it to bits. I was embarrassed for myself at how bad it went. That is going to be one of those things that seven years from now I'll be lying in bed some evening and not be able to go to sleep reliving that vividly painful memory over in my head. Now I have to figure out how to salvage the high school youth group in the future and be able to face the kids without wondering whether their first thought is, "Oh, that awkward youth minister who *thinks* she can play piano. Youth group so lame."
2. I have one reason to be excited for election day. The United Methodist church in the town where I work will be having a big luncheon that our church office staff will be attending.
3. Guilty pleasures these days: lemon tea, Jimmy Fallon clips, starting The Crown this afternoon after a youth ministry meeting, new lip gloss, and a clipboard for working on genealogy away from my desk.
4. This year we had no trick or treaters at all. I had 2-3 in the years past. This year I made sure to have some actually good candy on hand so we would actually eat it. Two years ago I got smarties and we STILL have a handful.
5. I maybe overestimated whether I actually have 7 updates in my life...
6. I spent a few hours at an adoration chapel at Cure of Ars on the Kansas side of Kansas City this past week. Compared to Wichita, perpetual adoration chapels are few and far between here. Many of the ones I like are on the Kansas side. Since college, the two that I used to frequent most often have changed their passwords and tightened security after a robbery at one of the parishes, so I haven't been able to get into them. I decided to try this one for a change. After wondering around lost in the foyer for a little while, a couple of kind young ladies pointed me in the right direction of the chapel and shared the passcode with me. It reminded me slightly of the SFA chapel in Wichita with a stone wall backdrop. They had a nice sized spiritual reading section. I wish KCMO would step up their game.
7. This next weekend I will be taking my Confirmation kids on a group service project on Saturday and First Penance is on Sunday. The following weekend I will be taking a small group of kids to the Kansas City Youth Conference. I hope it is as good as Wichita's similar Diocesan Catholic Youth Conference. And then it's Thanksgiving. Which I am so looking forward to. We haven't been back to Wichita since all of my family's health crises this summer. It will be nice to be there to relax and celebrate instead of worrying.
1. My weekend was a whole slew of awkwardness and emotional mess. The icing on this not so nice cake was playing a Litany of the Saints with my youth group and bombing it. Like, cringingly, awfully, full on blew it to bits. I was embarrassed for myself at how bad it went. That is going to be one of those things that seven years from now I'll be lying in bed some evening and not be able to go to sleep reliving that vividly painful memory over in my head. Now I have to figure out how to salvage the high school youth group in the future and be able to face the kids without wondering whether their first thought is, "Oh, that awkward youth minister who *thinks* she can play piano. Youth group so lame."
2. I have one reason to be excited for election day. The United Methodist church in the town where I work will be having a big luncheon that our church office staff will be attending.
3. Guilty pleasures these days: lemon tea, Jimmy Fallon clips, starting The Crown this afternoon after a youth ministry meeting, new lip gloss, and a clipboard for working on genealogy away from my desk.
4. This year we had no trick or treaters at all. I had 2-3 in the years past. This year I made sure to have some actually good candy on hand so we would actually eat it. Two years ago I got smarties and we STILL have a handful.
5. I maybe overestimated whether I actually have 7 updates in my life...
6. I spent a few hours at an adoration chapel at Cure of Ars on the Kansas side of Kansas City this past week. Compared to Wichita, perpetual adoration chapels are few and far between here. Many of the ones I like are on the Kansas side. Since college, the two that I used to frequent most often have changed their passwords and tightened security after a robbery at one of the parishes, so I haven't been able to get into them. I decided to try this one for a change. After wondering around lost in the foyer for a little while, a couple of kind young ladies pointed me in the right direction of the chapel and shared the passcode with me. It reminded me slightly of the SFA chapel in Wichita with a stone wall backdrop. They had a nice sized spiritual reading section. I wish KCMO would step up their game.
7. This next weekend I will be taking my Confirmation kids on a group service project on Saturday and First Penance is on Sunday. The following weekend I will be taking a small group of kids to the Kansas City Youth Conference. I hope it is as good as Wichita's similar Diocesan Catholic Youth Conference. And then it's Thanksgiving. Which I am so looking forward to. We haven't been back to Wichita since all of my family's health crises this summer. It will be nice to be there to relax and celebrate instead of worrying.
Saturday, October 29, 2016
Coughcoughpoliticscoughcough: Pro-Life Feature XIV
The election cycle has once again made "pro-life" a bad word...except by both main candidates.
No matter how you feel about voting 3rd party, I am glad there are some 3rd party candidates brave enough to run from platforms of respect for WHOLE life...not just anti-abortion. Evan McMullin (https://www.evanmcmullin.com/) and Mike Maturen (http://www.solidarity-party.org/...sadly his write-in status in Missouri fell through, but still eligible for write-in in Kansas) are two such candidates. Again, even if you can't bring yourself to vote 3rd party, they are some gentlemen that we can all get behind. And if the national elections are making you feel bummed, remember to do your research on local elections :-). That's where it all starts!
No matter how you feel about voting 3rd party, I am glad there are some 3rd party candidates brave enough to run from platforms of respect for WHOLE life...not just anti-abortion. Evan McMullin (https://www.evanmcmullin.com/) and Mike Maturen (http://www.solidarity-party.org/...sadly his write-in status in Missouri fell through, but still eligible for write-in in Kansas) are two such candidates. Again, even if you can't bring yourself to vote 3rd party, they are some gentlemen that we can all get behind. And if the national elections are making you feel bummed, remember to do your research on local elections :-). That's where it all starts!
Thursday, October 13, 2016
LIttle bitty life snippets
Out my window: Sun shine-y and a clean porch...finally :-)
Clothing myself in: I haven't felt super today, it's my day off, and I'm cleaning, so PJs...
Around the apartment: Cleaning, y'all
The hubby: not much new. Life, work.
In the kitchen: eh, rather uninspired. Man. I'm boring today.
Crafting: For the 2nd grade sacrament prep at work we use a take home scrapbook that the families go through together. Kids haven been typically just filling in a few words. To try to change those habits with the families, I've been filling out the scrapbooks with examples of how the families could fill in the books with drawings, stickers, clip-art, etc., so I've been getting crafty with that.
Learning: making calls to registered parishioners to remind about upcoming events works..and either results in people hanging up on you or getting into deep conversations about their desire to return to the church and get more involved. I prefer the latter.
Reading: Making more headway in "I Will Give Them a New Heart," I really do love it...up to young Fantine in Les Miz
Watching: Eh, not really too much this week, have been too tired in the evenings and haven't felt the desire to watch anything on my days off
Bringing me joy: extended deadlines, good news in health, supportive friends
Thinking about: next steps after the good health news, all the smart, compassionate people who write and post things about the political situation and their wonderful examples
Pictures to share: I joined Instagram. For real. Mostly to get used to it before I create an account for youth group purposes. I just have more teens and parents on Instagram than Facebook these days, so if I'm going to reach the kids on social media, I'm going to have to be creative and venture into new territory.
Clothing myself in: I haven't felt super today, it's my day off, and I'm cleaning, so PJs...
Around the apartment: Cleaning, y'all
The hubby: not much new. Life, work.
In the kitchen: eh, rather uninspired. Man. I'm boring today.
Crafting: For the 2nd grade sacrament prep at work we use a take home scrapbook that the families go through together. Kids haven been typically just filling in a few words. To try to change those habits with the families, I've been filling out the scrapbooks with examples of how the families could fill in the books with drawings, stickers, clip-art, etc., so I've been getting crafty with that.
Learning: making calls to registered parishioners to remind about upcoming events works..and either results in people hanging up on you or getting into deep conversations about their desire to return to the church and get more involved. I prefer the latter.
Reading: Making more headway in "I Will Give Them a New Heart," I really do love it...up to young Fantine in Les Miz
Watching: Eh, not really too much this week, have been too tired in the evenings and haven't felt the desire to watch anything on my days off
Bringing me joy: extended deadlines, good news in health, supportive friends
Thinking about: next steps after the good health news, all the smart, compassionate people who write and post things about the political situation and their wonderful examples
Pictures to share: I joined Instagram. For real. Mostly to get used to it before I create an account for youth group purposes. I just have more teens and parents on Instagram than Facebook these days, so if I'm going to reach the kids on social media, I'm going to have to be creative and venture into new territory.
Tuesday, September 27, 2016
The Seven Sorrows: Lessons on Mary XIII
It has taken me a while to foster my love of the chaplet of the sorrows of Mary. I didn't grow up with it a lot, and I am still getting familiar with each of the "mysteries" so I don't rely on my sheet of paper to get me through it. But this has become one of my favorite prayers for bad emotional days. It helps me to remember that Mary has felt all of those womanly emotions and sanctified them in her own way. My spiritual mentor first suggested it when I was really starting to struggle with the sadness of infertility. And while I do often pray it when issues arise with that area of my life, it has expanded to praying it when there are tough situations of any sort.
With Mary I've always thought of this tension...of course she was human and therefore not had no knowledge on her own of future events, but she also has these hints in Scripture that her Son will suffer somehow. We also read from mystics like Anne Catherine Emmerich how the child Jesus would tell Joseph and Mary, even from the crib, about great mysteries. One can only imagine from those descriptions to what extent He may have shared what He would go through in His sufferings. Regardless, the Seven Sorrows remind us of just how much Mary was tested in her faith. I imagine her walking through all of this, maybe trying to recite in her heart the hopeful verses of Scripture that she hoped her Son would fulfill. That those words are what allowed her to take the steps along with Jesus. If Mary was tested, then not only should we not be surprised when we are, but we should look to her example of how to hope through the sorrow. I think I've blogged before about how, strangely enough, I feel a bit sad when I pray through the glorious mysteries of the Rosary...well, I feel a bit hopeful when I pray through the Seven Sorrows, because we know that those are not the end for Mary. That she will see her Son, and that He will fulfill His promises, and that she will even be crowned in glory. Even in the worst of times, God yearns to fulfill the desires of our heart. The tough times may just be His way of allowing us to discover just what are those desires.
With Mary I've always thought of this tension...of course she was human and therefore not had no knowledge on her own of future events, but she also has these hints in Scripture that her Son will suffer somehow. We also read from mystics like Anne Catherine Emmerich how the child Jesus would tell Joseph and Mary, even from the crib, about great mysteries. One can only imagine from those descriptions to what extent He may have shared what He would go through in His sufferings. Regardless, the Seven Sorrows remind us of just how much Mary was tested in her faith. I imagine her walking through all of this, maybe trying to recite in her heart the hopeful verses of Scripture that she hoped her Son would fulfill. That those words are what allowed her to take the steps along with Jesus. If Mary was tested, then not only should we not be surprised when we are, but we should look to her example of how to hope through the sorrow. I think I've blogged before about how, strangely enough, I feel a bit sad when I pray through the glorious mysteries of the Rosary...well, I feel a bit hopeful when I pray through the Seven Sorrows, because we know that those are not the end for Mary. That she will see her Son, and that He will fulfill His promises, and that she will even be crowned in glory. Even in the worst of times, God yearns to fulfill the desires of our heart. The tough times may just be His way of allowing us to discover just what are those desires.
Thursday, August 25, 2016
And then August happened
Out my window: The crickets are singing and still partly cloudy from all the rain from the past couple of days. My porch is looking pretty abysmal...it's on my to-do list.
Clothing myself in: jeans, a green maurice's top
Around the apartment: Since beginning to use my new planner and using my bullet journal portion to fill my days with better goodness, I have started to resolve to "clean" each day. Some days that looks like just doing the dishes, or getting the vacuuming done, but gosh darn, it's nicer than letting it pile up for one day a week like I so often do.
The hubby: is once again a year-older numberwise than me for a few months. We celebrated a couple weeks ago with family. I got him a membership to the Dollar Shaving Club, as well as a few Lego Star Wars ships to put together and a little Ewok keychain...all because I shattered his nerd heart a few weeks ago with trying to remember what they were called and referring to them as "baby wookies." I knew it would rile him a little bit, so now every time he sees it he can think of me ;-)
In the kitchen: Trying to get back in the swing of things post summer craziness.
Crafting: Another of my bullet journal goals is to work on a good leisure hobby each day, whether that be piano, reading, genealogy, or coloring. I've been making more progress in my coloring book from last Christmas in this realm.
Learning: that learning at my job is not done by a longshot. All of this beginning of the school year and fall semester stuff is still all new to me, so I'm getting nervous about the school year programs starting up.
Reading: Rereading Les Miz. Last I read it was high school, so it's been a while. Just finished Book 1 on the Monseigneur this weekend, looking forward to having Jean Valjean introduced. Still slowly working through "I Will Give Them a New Heart."
Watching: I watched the Olympics pretty regularly until life got busy again during the second week of Olympics. A few sleepy documentary series on Irish castles, the history of math, and stolen art. I tried an episode of the new Netflix series The Get Down, but waaaaay too much cursing and innuendo for my taste, and that was just half an episode. I thought about finishing the episode, but Matt came home in the middle of it from work and I started getting our supper ready and I decided it just wasn't worth it to finish it.
Bringing me joy: celebrating my guy's birthday :-)
Thinking about: all the PSR/youth group stuff. All of it. So much happening so soon!
Pictures to share: Ugh. I'm so bad at this.
Clothing myself in: jeans, a green maurice's top
Around the apartment: Since beginning to use my new planner and using my bullet journal portion to fill my days with better goodness, I have started to resolve to "clean" each day. Some days that looks like just doing the dishes, or getting the vacuuming done, but gosh darn, it's nicer than letting it pile up for one day a week like I so often do.
The hubby: is once again a year-older numberwise than me for a few months. We celebrated a couple weeks ago with family. I got him a membership to the Dollar Shaving Club, as well as a few Lego Star Wars ships to put together and a little Ewok keychain...all because I shattered his nerd heart a few weeks ago with trying to remember what they were called and referring to them as "baby wookies." I knew it would rile him a little bit, so now every time he sees it he can think of me ;-)
In the kitchen: Trying to get back in the swing of things post summer craziness.
Crafting: Another of my bullet journal goals is to work on a good leisure hobby each day, whether that be piano, reading, genealogy, or coloring. I've been making more progress in my coloring book from last Christmas in this realm.
Learning: that learning at my job is not done by a longshot. All of this beginning of the school year and fall semester stuff is still all new to me, so I'm getting nervous about the school year programs starting up.
Reading: Rereading Les Miz. Last I read it was high school, so it's been a while. Just finished Book 1 on the Monseigneur this weekend, looking forward to having Jean Valjean introduced. Still slowly working through "I Will Give Them a New Heart."
Watching: I watched the Olympics pretty regularly until life got busy again during the second week of Olympics. A few sleepy documentary series on Irish castles, the history of math, and stolen art. I tried an episode of the new Netflix series The Get Down, but waaaaay too much cursing and innuendo for my taste, and that was just half an episode. I thought about finishing the episode, but Matt came home in the middle of it from work and I started getting our supper ready and I decided it just wasn't worth it to finish it.
Bringing me joy: celebrating my guy's birthday :-)
Thinking about: all the PSR/youth group stuff. All of it. So much happening so soon!
Pictures to share: Ugh. I'm so bad at this.
Saturday, August 6, 2016
St. Addal
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| catholic.org |
1. This is a second-generation Christian that I did not know about before..always cool to learn about early Christians!
2. Legend is that St. Thomas the Apostle sent Addal to cure and convert a king in modern-day Turkey.
3. He spent his life serving as a missionary, and is honored by the Persian and Syrian churches as a martyr of the faith.
Friday, July 22, 2016
Excitement is in the air!
After spending a week at Notre Dame on retreat with my teens, I kinda did a 180 of sorts and hit the ground running at work getting ready for Vacation Bible School!
For a few different reasons, VBS has not happened at this parish in about 3 years. So I've had my fair amount of concerns of if I could pull it off. You know me over here, Mrs. Worry Wart.
However, between having 20 registrations in a week and more than a handful of people coming forward to help put this together, I'm feeling much more excited and hopeful that we can get this off and going.
The theme we're going with is out of a Loyola Press book of Catholic Vacation Bible School themes, and is "Living in the Kingdom," so I've been busy all week constructing box castle towers and envisioning a welcoming, grand environment for the kids to walk into. I have a BUNCH more to do this Sunday and Monday before it begins (we're doing a three evening program), but first...
...wedding in Dallas! One of my childhood best friends that I went to grade school AND college with is getting married, and I'm pretty thrilled for her. She's found a spectacular guy, and they complement each other very well. I'll be flying there and back on Saturday.
Also today, I had my latest NFP follow-up appointment. I know some of you reading this know about it, but I haven't blogged about it up to this point to avoid emotional outbursts or being too flippant with mine or Matt's privacy. But with his "O.K." I feel much more comfortable giving this update. We have been trying to build our family for 20 months (I've lost count these past few months, I had to do the mental math when I went in for my appointment today) and have been seeing an NFP physician since last October. Nothing too intensive has happened up to this point. I've mostly been on vitamins and amoxicillin and guaifenisen and discovered my dislike of taking so many pills. After two frustrating appointments where nothing moved forward , the doctor agreed to have labs drawn on me. (I have to say as a disclaimer that I'm not upset at the doctor for taking things the slow way. When we first were deciding whether to start in town or go straight to Omaha, I felt God was calling me to grow in patience in the process. I've had to eat my words for thinking, "Let's take this slow," because boy has it felt slow, but I'm also finding grace in the slow.) This next week we'll be doing a draw to find out some of my hormone levels. I'm not sure when we'll hear any results, but I'm just excited to finally be moving forward again in this process. Please pray for us as we hopefully start finding some more answers. I've been praying to Brian a lot to intercede for us, so I know he's working hard in heaven.
For a few different reasons, VBS has not happened at this parish in about 3 years. So I've had my fair amount of concerns of if I could pull it off. You know me over here, Mrs. Worry Wart.
However, between having 20 registrations in a week and more than a handful of people coming forward to help put this together, I'm feeling much more excited and hopeful that we can get this off and going.
The theme we're going with is out of a Loyola Press book of Catholic Vacation Bible School themes, and is "Living in the Kingdom," so I've been busy all week constructing box castle towers and envisioning a welcoming, grand environment for the kids to walk into. I have a BUNCH more to do this Sunday and Monday before it begins (we're doing a three evening program), but first...
...wedding in Dallas! One of my childhood best friends that I went to grade school AND college with is getting married, and I'm pretty thrilled for her. She's found a spectacular guy, and they complement each other very well. I'll be flying there and back on Saturday.
Also today, I had my latest NFP follow-up appointment. I know some of you reading this know about it, but I haven't blogged about it up to this point to avoid emotional outbursts or being too flippant with mine or Matt's privacy. But with his "O.K." I feel much more comfortable giving this update. We have been trying to build our family for 20 months (I've lost count these past few months, I had to do the mental math when I went in for my appointment today) and have been seeing an NFP physician since last October. Nothing too intensive has happened up to this point. I've mostly been on vitamins and amoxicillin and guaifenisen and discovered my dislike of taking so many pills. After two frustrating appointments where nothing moved forward , the doctor agreed to have labs drawn on me. (I have to say as a disclaimer that I'm not upset at the doctor for taking things the slow way. When we first were deciding whether to start in town or go straight to Omaha, I felt God was calling me to grow in patience in the process. I've had to eat my words for thinking, "Let's take this slow," because boy has it felt slow, but I'm also finding grace in the slow.) This next week we'll be doing a draw to find out some of my hormone levels. I'm not sure when we'll hear any results, but I'm just excited to finally be moving forward again in this process. Please pray for us as we hopefully start finding some more answers. I've been praying to Brian a lot to intercede for us, so I know he's working hard in heaven.
Saturday, July 16, 2016
When the going gets tough, the tough retreat
And pray. And question. And beg God...
This past week was my first big trip with my work-parish youth group. This was the week I have been planning for since I first started my position. This was a finalization of months of planning. This was it.
Because of all of this planning for the youth that were attending, plus one other chaperone, I had not been particularly looking forward to this retreat for myself. This was a unique high school retreat. At Notre Dame Vision, the students are chaperoned entirely by the retreat staff, while the campus and youth ministers are also on a similar retreat experience. I hoped that the students would have a good time, but I was so wrapped up in the administrative details that I had no hope to gain anything for myself. This year's theme was mercy...
Lord, have mercy.
What I was not prepared for was having an entire week of prompts and opportunities to bring the mess of the past month, particularly the concerns of my family, health, and the particularly painful weekend events of Brian Bergkamp's disappearance, to God. While I would have much rather been home sulking and crying and being with my husband (who I did not get to see July 8-15), God pulled me off by myself to confront my fears, pride, and mourning.
Christ, have mercy.
I don't know if God ordained the timing of this trip in anticipation of the past month, but it happened the way it happened. I was able to pray for all of the people in my life multiple times at Notre Dame's grotto. (Yes, that includes you. And you. And you in the back. You were all in my prayers.) I was able to confess in the Basilica of the Sacred Heart after avoiding the sacrament for four months out of anger and spite. I was able to sit at St. Joseph's Lake and make peace with the water.
Lord, have mercy.
In one of the more compelling talks in our time there, we heard of the mercy of baptism. We are not just baptized once in our past, we are baptized right now, always. We are wrapped in mercy. Do we act like it? Do we know it? Do we allow ourselves to be mercied, and to be merciful? Brian did. He lived out his baptism fully and bravely. My uncle did, and passed on his faith to two beautiful daughters and some beautiful grandchildren. My father continues to and I'm so entirely grateful to continue to learn from his merciful example. I pray and beg God that I may pass that on as well.
Mercy disrupts. It is not comfortable. It has shattered my summer. After a very long month, God drew me in to show me His Hands and hold me in them. He holds you too.
This past week was my first big trip with my work-parish youth group. This was the week I have been planning for since I first started my position. This was a finalization of months of planning. This was it.
Because of all of this planning for the youth that were attending, plus one other chaperone, I had not been particularly looking forward to this retreat for myself. This was a unique high school retreat. At Notre Dame Vision, the students are chaperoned entirely by the retreat staff, while the campus and youth ministers are also on a similar retreat experience. I hoped that the students would have a good time, but I was so wrapped up in the administrative details that I had no hope to gain anything for myself. This year's theme was mercy...
Lord, have mercy.
What I was not prepared for was having an entire week of prompts and opportunities to bring the mess of the past month, particularly the concerns of my family, health, and the particularly painful weekend events of Brian Bergkamp's disappearance, to God. While I would have much rather been home sulking and crying and being with my husband (who I did not get to see July 8-15), God pulled me off by myself to confront my fears, pride, and mourning.
Christ, have mercy.
I don't know if God ordained the timing of this trip in anticipation of the past month, but it happened the way it happened. I was able to pray for all of the people in my life multiple times at Notre Dame's grotto. (Yes, that includes you. And you. And you in the back. You were all in my prayers.) I was able to confess in the Basilica of the Sacred Heart after avoiding the sacrament for four months out of anger and spite. I was able to sit at St. Joseph's Lake and make peace with the water.
Lord, have mercy.
In one of the more compelling talks in our time there, we heard of the mercy of baptism. We are not just baptized once in our past, we are baptized right now, always. We are wrapped in mercy. Do we act like it? Do we know it? Do we allow ourselves to be mercied, and to be merciful? Brian did. He lived out his baptism fully and bravely. My uncle did, and passed on his faith to two beautiful daughters and some beautiful grandchildren. My father continues to and I'm so entirely grateful to continue to learn from his merciful example. I pray and beg God that I may pass that on as well.
Mercy disrupts. It is not comfortable. It has shattered my summer. After a very long month, God drew me in to show me His Hands and hold me in them. He holds you too.
Friday, July 8, 2016
Ever onward
Out my window: I feel like I've hardly been home to know what's outside my window these days. But it's hot.
Clothing myself in: khaki capris, forest green top...I have trouble knowing what goes with khaki. I know that sounds silly, but I always end up pairing browns and greens and maybe burnt orange with it because I have no idea what else to put with it. Blacks, greys, reds, blues, and purples all go with black/grey pants and skirts more in my mind, and those are the color tops I have more of in my closet.
Around the apartment: I have been back to Wichita 3 times in 1.5 weeks (read that as...kind of on edge of disaster-ish, but livable).
The hubby: has been super. He's now in Canada for his much anticipated video game conference. He will be nerding out this weekend. A lot.
In the kitchen: Can we just not talk about this?
Crafting: All things VBS at work. I'm going to be getting my craft on with castles, castle keep, walls, the kids' art projects and materials...
Learning: to count blessings
Reading: I finished The Once and Future King! Have been too busy to start another fiction. Haven't made it much further through my faith book either.
Watching: On one of my rare free weekends of June I watched the 3 Jurassic Parks on Netflix...have been going through a series called Brain Games...yeah, not much.
Bringing me joy: my family
Thinking about: my trip for work I'm leaving for in 3 days, health, how I'll spend the next couple of days cleaning, packing, hopefully a trip to Panera to use up a gift card...
Pictures to share: I didn't have much to write, both for your sake and for mine so I didn't go off on tangents/rant, so here's a plethora of pics from the last month or so...
Clothing myself in: khaki capris, forest green top...I have trouble knowing what goes with khaki. I know that sounds silly, but I always end up pairing browns and greens and maybe burnt orange with it because I have no idea what else to put with it. Blacks, greys, reds, blues, and purples all go with black/grey pants and skirts more in my mind, and those are the color tops I have more of in my closet.
Around the apartment: I have been back to Wichita 3 times in 1.5 weeks (read that as...kind of on edge of disaster-ish, but livable).
The hubby: has been super. He's now in Canada for his much anticipated video game conference. He will be nerding out this weekend. A lot.
In the kitchen: Can we just not talk about this?
Crafting: All things VBS at work. I'm going to be getting my craft on with castles, castle keep, walls, the kids' art projects and materials...
Learning: to count blessings
Reading: I finished The Once and Future King! Have been too busy to start another fiction. Haven't made it much further through my faith book either.
Watching: On one of my rare free weekends of June I watched the 3 Jurassic Parks on Netflix...have been going through a series called Brain Games...yeah, not much.
Bringing me joy: my family
Thinking about: my trip for work I'm leaving for in 3 days, health, how I'll spend the next couple of days cleaning, packing, hopefully a trip to Panera to use up a gift card...
Pictures to share: I didn't have much to write, both for your sake and for mine so I didn't go off on tangents/rant, so here's a plethora of pics from the last month or so...
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| A "Perry the Platypus" green car spotted when eating out with bro- and sis-in-law and family. It was pretty! |
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| A bit random, but this butterfly/moth was on the ground near my car one day at work. Do you see how big it is?! I would've guesstimated about the size of my fist, bigger with wings spread. This thing was massive! |
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| My latest jigsaw. This was one where it comes with a mystery story and you have to decipher the clues in the finished puzzle. This was difficult because you needed to know the different names for the quilt square types. I had to cheat and read ahead in the story a bit. |
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| Leaving for vacay. |
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| Goats on the roof! Other wise known as Al Johnson's restaurant. |
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| I found an antique store named Chelsea's. Obligatory photo of said store. |
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| I'm really bad at taking good pictures while the car is in motion. If I could zoom in, I would. This is a sign for Pilsen, WI. Kansas was on my mind :-) |
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| Another bad car photo. I was trying to get the sign for the cemetery named Sts. Cyril and Methodius, Matt's Confirmation saints. |
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| John Wayne's house of birth. Definitely going back to the museum with my dad in tow next time. I never realized he was born just south of Des Moines. |
Friday, July 1, 2016
Sts. Peter and Paul: Quote of the Day XXXIX
"The Feast of the Holy Apostles Peter and Paul is at the same time a
grateful memorial of the great witnesses of Jesus Christ and a solemn
confession for the Church: one, holy, catholic and apostolic. It is first and foremost a feast of catholicity. The
sign of Pentecost - the new community that speaks all languages and
unites all peoples into one people, in one family of God -, this sign
has become a reality. Our liturgical assembly, at which Bishops are
gathered from all parts of the world, people of many cultures and
nations, is an image of the family of the Church distributed throughout
the earth."--Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI
St. Peter is definitely working miracles still...just saying. I know many of us look to recent saints or those awaiting canonization to perform miracles, but on his feast day, St. Peter was rocking it.
St. Peter is definitely working miracles still...just saying. I know many of us look to recent saints or those awaiting canonization to perform miracles, but on his feast day, St. Peter was rocking it.
Friday, June 17, 2016
Let Him in
First of all, I ordered a Catholic planner for the 2016/2017 school year. I have 2 January-December planners right now, but now that I'm living life by the school year again, it was necessary. I feel like a little kid waiting for a Christmas present, I am so. darn. excited. There's my nerd moment for the day.
My prolonged absence from blogging has been due to: A) writer's block, B) trying to savor my bit of downtime before summer gets all crazy on me, and C) some personal losses and struggles that I didn't want to blurt out and make a mess of in blogging until I'd gotten a handle on them and grappled with them a bit on my own.
This past weekend was a very sad weekend. If you're on the internet or see newspapers or anything of the sort, you've been bombarded by the news and aftermath...you get it. I had a personal struggle as well going on, so I was just mopey and sad this entire weekend. And then Monday night.
I will not be sharing this on Facebook for family privacy sake, but feel comfortable enough with my fairly small audience on this forum to talk about it. I was settling into my evening routine when my mom called about 7:30. She called in tears...her second oldest brother has been losing weight in an unhealthy way and had some collapsing spells. After a spell on Monday he was taken into emergency surgery and a large tumor across his abdomen was discovered. The initial estimate was 2-7 days.
I could have waited until my day off on Thursday to go to see him, but I did not want to risk losing my opportunity to see him. I left in a matter of 30 minutes of my mom's call with the help of Matt getting me sent off, and arrived in Wichita at 11pm Monday night. My uncle was still pretty sedated Monday night, but Tuesday morning I was able to see him again. After they took his breathing tube out, he was off talking and teasing a mile a minute. It was so good to see. I was able to talk (and tease) with him and tell him I loved him. Another oncologist has given an estimate of 2-6 weeks. I may still have time to quickly go down again, but I'm so glad that I was able to talk to him at least once more. Please please pray for his family at this time.
After staying at the hospital for a couple of hours, I drove straight back to KC to work for a couple hours on Tuesday afternoon. On 4 hours of sleep. I've made wiser decisions. I think most of this week I've been trying to recuperate from my messy, exhausting beginning of the week.
On the trip down to Wichita, all I could dwell on was my anger at God for all that was occurring in my life at that moment. I needed music, but funny enough all I could listen to were Christian songs because anything else on the radio seemed too shallow. In my struggle, I thought about the prayer exercise where the leader will ask you to imagine Jesus in your heart, going through the "files" of life events and talking with Him one on one. Except all I could imagine was locking Jesus out in frustration. I wanted Him out. If this was how things were going to be, I wanted Him out. But at the same time, I imagined Him on the outside, looking how He must have looked at Golgatha, and pleading with me in His eyes to let Him back in and Him sitting patiently outside the door of my heart, waiting for the opportunity to be let back in.
I can't say there was any point where that relationship was instantly healed, but the peace that came with seeing my uncle in good spirits, being able to tell him I loved him at least once more, and seeing how his family was supporting each other...somehow all of that shifted my perspective once more. We have to live for those little bright moments when we're in the storm.
The weekend tragedy had non-believers livid at those praying about the tragedy on social media. Prayers don't get laws passed, they said. Prayers to lead to equality, they said. Prayers don't lead to change, they said. Well, maybe from their perspective. But true prayer is leading to conversations. Sincere prayers lead to changed minds and hearts. It's true those prayers shouldn't stagnate into good intentions. Those prayers should be letting Jesus into the heart so He can heal it. And healing hurts. My gosh, it hurts. But without prayer, that healing, that change, those conversations, they will stagnate and be ineffective. So while you don't have to show it on social media, do continue to pray. Bang on Heaven's door for some answers. Let Him into the mess and see what He does with it.
My prolonged absence from blogging has been due to: A) writer's block, B) trying to savor my bit of downtime before summer gets all crazy on me, and C) some personal losses and struggles that I didn't want to blurt out and make a mess of in blogging until I'd gotten a handle on them and grappled with them a bit on my own.
This past weekend was a very sad weekend. If you're on the internet or see newspapers or anything of the sort, you've been bombarded by the news and aftermath...you get it. I had a personal struggle as well going on, so I was just mopey and sad this entire weekend. And then Monday night.
I will not be sharing this on Facebook for family privacy sake, but feel comfortable enough with my fairly small audience on this forum to talk about it. I was settling into my evening routine when my mom called about 7:30. She called in tears...her second oldest brother has been losing weight in an unhealthy way and had some collapsing spells. After a spell on Monday he was taken into emergency surgery and a large tumor across his abdomen was discovered. The initial estimate was 2-7 days.
I could have waited until my day off on Thursday to go to see him, but I did not want to risk losing my opportunity to see him. I left in a matter of 30 minutes of my mom's call with the help of Matt getting me sent off, and arrived in Wichita at 11pm Monday night. My uncle was still pretty sedated Monday night, but Tuesday morning I was able to see him again. After they took his breathing tube out, he was off talking and teasing a mile a minute. It was so good to see. I was able to talk (and tease) with him and tell him I loved him. Another oncologist has given an estimate of 2-6 weeks. I may still have time to quickly go down again, but I'm so glad that I was able to talk to him at least once more. Please please pray for his family at this time.
After staying at the hospital for a couple of hours, I drove straight back to KC to work for a couple hours on Tuesday afternoon. On 4 hours of sleep. I've made wiser decisions. I think most of this week I've been trying to recuperate from my messy, exhausting beginning of the week.
On the trip down to Wichita, all I could dwell on was my anger at God for all that was occurring in my life at that moment. I needed music, but funny enough all I could listen to were Christian songs because anything else on the radio seemed too shallow. In my struggle, I thought about the prayer exercise where the leader will ask you to imagine Jesus in your heart, going through the "files" of life events and talking with Him one on one. Except all I could imagine was locking Jesus out in frustration. I wanted Him out. If this was how things were going to be, I wanted Him out. But at the same time, I imagined Him on the outside, looking how He must have looked at Golgatha, and pleading with me in His eyes to let Him back in and Him sitting patiently outside the door of my heart, waiting for the opportunity to be let back in.
I can't say there was any point where that relationship was instantly healed, but the peace that came with seeing my uncle in good spirits, being able to tell him I loved him at least once more, and seeing how his family was supporting each other...somehow all of that shifted my perspective once more. We have to live for those little bright moments when we're in the storm.
The weekend tragedy had non-believers livid at those praying about the tragedy on social media. Prayers don't get laws passed, they said. Prayers to lead to equality, they said. Prayers don't lead to change, they said. Well, maybe from their perspective. But true prayer is leading to conversations. Sincere prayers lead to changed minds and hearts. It's true those prayers shouldn't stagnate into good intentions. Those prayers should be letting Jesus into the heart so He can heal it. And healing hurts. My gosh, it hurts. But without prayer, that healing, that change, those conversations, they will stagnate and be ineffective. So while you don't have to show it on social media, do continue to pray. Bang on Heaven's door for some answers. Let Him into the mess and see what He does with it.
Thursday, May 5, 2016
Breaking the mold
Since I don't have enough to fill in for some of the categories from my usual blog posts, and more than abundant details for others, I'm going to nix the topic divisions and just wing it today!
Well, today to start off with, I had a (much needed) chiropractor appointment. With my already wicked cool back curvature issues, any stress, good or bad, seems to settle in those wacky areas. The adjustment was a relief. Also today, we had all kinds of maintenance schtuff going on. Since we renewed our lease, we got a complementary carpet cleaning (for which I was unreasonably excited). We also have realized, as things have been slowly warming up this spring, that our AC is kaput. As in, everything has to be replaced with it kaput. I expected all of these to at least be begun by 10:30am. Well, also today my parents came up briefly to KC to hang out with me for lunch and to pick up the car we've been borrowing from them. They arrived at 12:30. Maintenance did not begin until 2:30 as my parents were leaving! So I spent a lot of my day fretting about and beginning cleaning projects that I really should have waited on but I wanted to get done. Also, the AC was not able to be completely fixed, so we have another week for it to be fixed. It has been getting up to 10 degrees warmer in here than it has been outside, so not exactly looking forward to it getting warmer in the mean time, but thankfully we're addressing the issue now than in the summer, and that we even will have it. Too blessed to stress :-P.
Last night I had my second, and final for the school year, Junior High Youth Group. I was really excited for this one. I planned an evening of Minute to Win It games, and felt much more prepared for it than last time, as I also had a feel for how many kids to expect. The games worked well for the most part, but unfortunately some aspects didn't work quite as well as I hoped and there were some confusing scoring issues. Add on top of that that some of the kids were getting there 10-15 minutes late, and I just felt like the evening didn't flow as smoothly as I'd hoped. Ah, well, the kids insisted they'd had fun. I'm typing out for myself what I do at each meeting, what did and didn't work, and what to anticipate in the future. I have a lot to work on in planning fluid, flowing meetings. As in, for instance, the kids who were running late. How do I begin a meeting semi on time with kids trickling in so that they get as much info as possible and I don't run over time? Or how many games do I put out so that it's not overwhelming? Just small detail type of things that I'll grow into. It's a good problem that I'm going from a group of 2-3 from the last parish at which I worked to a group of 10-15 and how to work with the changing numbers.
In the reading area, I finished Imitation of Mary and Jane Eyre! Jane Eyre is not my favorite literary character of all time. I think she's a bit...eccentric? She will act very stoic in one instance and more eccentric and loose in another. I think it's a bit with how the book is set up, with the different settings...each setting feels like it's own story, and sometimes it was difficult for me to see that it was the same Jane from place to place as she grew and developed. But then her complexity is also what made me keep coming back for more (and also why I read the second half of the book in about 2 nights). Still working my way through Once and Future King. For faith reading, I have moved on to the most academic book I've read since completing my master's. Actually, it was "suggested reading" for my "Lewis and von Hildebrand on Love" course, which, psh..."suggested reading." But I'm reading it now! It's "I Will Give Them a New Heart: Reflections on the Priesthood and the Renewal of the Church" by Conrad Baars, M.D. This link has some interesting reviews. I'm excited to see for myself. I've also been slowly reading some church documents that go with lesson planning for YG, along with very ever so slowly working on Amoris Laetitia. I have refused to read any opinions on it till I make it through myself. So far I find it quite encouraging, definitive yet embracing.
Matt has been a gem. Keeping up with me keeping up with work is not something I would wish on anybody, but he takes it (and me) in stride. It's difficult for me to not already be anticipating August and September events, but he helps me to stay calm and tackle one project at a time.
As a side note, I'm super impressed with this lady. She is from a more evangelical Christian background, but her insights into youth groups, modesty and dating standards are way and far above most people her age. I honestly wish I had been as wise as her in high school. I will definitely be using some of her material in future youth group settings.
Well, today to start off with, I had a (much needed) chiropractor appointment. With my already wicked cool back curvature issues, any stress, good or bad, seems to settle in those wacky areas. The adjustment was a relief. Also today, we had all kinds of maintenance schtuff going on. Since we renewed our lease, we got a complementary carpet cleaning (for which I was unreasonably excited). We also have realized, as things have been slowly warming up this spring, that our AC is kaput. As in, everything has to be replaced with it kaput. I expected all of these to at least be begun by 10:30am. Well, also today my parents came up briefly to KC to hang out with me for lunch and to pick up the car we've been borrowing from them. They arrived at 12:30. Maintenance did not begin until 2:30 as my parents were leaving! So I spent a lot of my day fretting about and beginning cleaning projects that I really should have waited on but I wanted to get done. Also, the AC was not able to be completely fixed, so we have another week for it to be fixed. It has been getting up to 10 degrees warmer in here than it has been outside, so not exactly looking forward to it getting warmer in the mean time, but thankfully we're addressing the issue now than in the summer, and that we even will have it. Too blessed to stress :-P.
Last night I had my second, and final for the school year, Junior High Youth Group. I was really excited for this one. I planned an evening of Minute to Win It games, and felt much more prepared for it than last time, as I also had a feel for how many kids to expect. The games worked well for the most part, but unfortunately some aspects didn't work quite as well as I hoped and there were some confusing scoring issues. Add on top of that that some of the kids were getting there 10-15 minutes late, and I just felt like the evening didn't flow as smoothly as I'd hoped. Ah, well, the kids insisted they'd had fun. I'm typing out for myself what I do at each meeting, what did and didn't work, and what to anticipate in the future. I have a lot to work on in planning fluid, flowing meetings. As in, for instance, the kids who were running late. How do I begin a meeting semi on time with kids trickling in so that they get as much info as possible and I don't run over time? Or how many games do I put out so that it's not overwhelming? Just small detail type of things that I'll grow into. It's a good problem that I'm going from a group of 2-3 from the last parish at which I worked to a group of 10-15 and how to work with the changing numbers.
In the reading area, I finished Imitation of Mary and Jane Eyre! Jane Eyre is not my favorite literary character of all time. I think she's a bit...eccentric? She will act very stoic in one instance and more eccentric and loose in another. I think it's a bit with how the book is set up, with the different settings...each setting feels like it's own story, and sometimes it was difficult for me to see that it was the same Jane from place to place as she grew and developed. But then her complexity is also what made me keep coming back for more (and also why I read the second half of the book in about 2 nights). Still working my way through Once and Future King. For faith reading, I have moved on to the most academic book I've read since completing my master's. Actually, it was "suggested reading" for my "Lewis and von Hildebrand on Love" course, which, psh..."suggested reading." But I'm reading it now! It's "I Will Give Them a New Heart: Reflections on the Priesthood and the Renewal of the Church" by Conrad Baars, M.D. This link has some interesting reviews. I'm excited to see for myself. I've also been slowly reading some church documents that go with lesson planning for YG, along with very ever so slowly working on Amoris Laetitia. I have refused to read any opinions on it till I make it through myself. So far I find it quite encouraging, definitive yet embracing.
Matt has been a gem. Keeping up with me keeping up with work is not something I would wish on anybody, but he takes it (and me) in stride. It's difficult for me to not already be anticipating August and September events, but he helps me to stay calm and tackle one project at a time.
As a side note, I'm super impressed with this lady. She is from a more evangelical Christian background, but her insights into youth groups, modesty and dating standards are way and far above most people her age. I honestly wish I had been as wise as her in high school. I will definitely be using some of her material in future youth group settings.
Friday, April 29, 2016
John 15:12-17: Daily Gospel XXVI
I remember the first time I started feeling a stronger, one-on-one relationship with my dad. My eighth grade year I came down with a very bad case of the eighth grade version of senioritis. I was very much done with the school year and knew I'd be going to a different high school than my friends...I was in a time of a lot of transition. Which, on top of puberty, is always (re: never) fun.
I don't recall now whether I didn't have any homework, or just very little, but many of my evenings were very free. My dad and I began to build a habit of playing double solitaire late into the evening hours. Sometimes we'd talk a lot about what I was experiencing at school. Sometimes there was no talk at all. Sometimes we'd be silly and compare feet sizes. All in all, it was my dad showing me how much he loved me. He was treating me as an "equal" and letting me spend time with him, even past my bedtime. It was him recognizing my time of maturing and needing some support in the process.
This Gospel is among the most loving and tender that I encounter in Scripture. The mixed emotions of joy and sadness of the disciples is palpable. The tender care of Jesus is self-evident. May we love one another with that same care and concern.
I don't recall now whether I didn't have any homework, or just very little, but many of my evenings were very free. My dad and I began to build a habit of playing double solitaire late into the evening hours. Sometimes we'd talk a lot about what I was experiencing at school. Sometimes there was no talk at all. Sometimes we'd be silly and compare feet sizes. All in all, it was my dad showing me how much he loved me. He was treating me as an "equal" and letting me spend time with him, even past my bedtime. It was him recognizing my time of maturing and needing some support in the process.
This Gospel is among the most loving and tender that I encounter in Scripture. The mixed emotions of joy and sadness of the disciples is palpable. The tender care of Jesus is self-evident. May we love one another with that same care and concern.
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| Today's post inspired by a meatball sub and cheap merlot. Because it's been a week. |
Saturday, April 16, 2016
This month may never end...
Out my window: Past my bedtime :-P
Clothing myself in: jeans, aqua top, grey cardigan
Around the apartment: clean from my "oh my goodness, I'm going to be SO stressed soon so I need to get this cleaned before I have no time" moments...
The hubby: and I are car-shopping like a couple of "newbs." There are times where we have stealthily tried to ask each other about the car-buying process because neither of us have done this before* and we don't want to sound dumb to each other, so that's pretty funny.
*I do have to clarify that, because Matt bought my uncle's Impala, but that was straight out cash, and my dad co-signed with me on my Avenger, but really, they have taken care of all the car payments. This is our first time buying from a dealer and financing ourselves.
In the kitchen: Nothing superbly exciting...burgers, swiss cheese chicken, parmesan tilapia which I have high hopes for
Crafting: eh, nada...I go in spurts with my coloring book
Learning: The month of April is basically the month-long form of finals week for DREs/youth ministers. All the sacraments and end of PSR and planning for the summer/beginning of the school year and coming up with a budget in one month. It's ok, I don't have a life outside of work anyways, right...?
Reading: Still almost done with The Imitation of Mary, King Arthur is a grown man navigating the world of young adulthood in The Once and Future King, in Jane Eyre she's finding out just how weird Mr. Rochester is.
Watching: The end of Leverage toyed with my emotions. I watched a couple of movies today, nothing spectacular.
Bringing me joy: Young Catholics having "Aha!" faith moments...sometimes I build up the courage to actually call friends rather than have a texting or email conversation, and those are awesome
Thinking about: an appointment I have coming up, prayers please!...all my work stuff...
Pictures to share:
Clothing myself in: jeans, aqua top, grey cardigan
Around the apartment: clean from my "oh my goodness, I'm going to be SO stressed soon so I need to get this cleaned before I have no time" moments...
The hubby: and I are car-shopping like a couple of "newbs." There are times where we have stealthily tried to ask each other about the car-buying process because neither of us have done this before* and we don't want to sound dumb to each other, so that's pretty funny.
*I do have to clarify that, because Matt bought my uncle's Impala, but that was straight out cash, and my dad co-signed with me on my Avenger, but really, they have taken care of all the car payments. This is our first time buying from a dealer and financing ourselves.
In the kitchen: Nothing superbly exciting...burgers, swiss cheese chicken, parmesan tilapia which I have high hopes for
Crafting: eh, nada...I go in spurts with my coloring book
Learning: The month of April is basically the month-long form of finals week for DREs/youth ministers. All the sacraments and end of PSR and planning for the summer/beginning of the school year and coming up with a budget in one month. It's ok, I don't have a life outside of work anyways, right...?
Reading: Still almost done with The Imitation of Mary, King Arthur is a grown man navigating the world of young adulthood in The Once and Future King, in Jane Eyre she's finding out just how weird Mr. Rochester is.
Watching: The end of Leverage toyed with my emotions. I watched a couple of movies today, nothing spectacular.
Bringing me joy: Young Catholics having "Aha!" faith moments...sometimes I build up the courage to actually call friends rather than have a texting or email conversation, and those are awesome
Thinking about: an appointment I have coming up, prayers please!...all my work stuff...
Pictures to share:
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| Cute, right? I had these at my Junior High Youth Group Easter party :-D |
Thursday, March 31, 2016
What to eat... Picture/News item of the day XXXI
For a while, I watched a lot of food documentaries available on Netflix. I figured if I was going to be watching something, might as well watch something educational, right? ;-)
The basic conclusions shown collectively were:
1) When you eat a fatty diet with lots of carbs and processed sugars, it's bad. Keep it clean and unprocessed!
2) But wait! If you kill animals, that's cruel...go vegan!
3) ...There's more! With plastics and BPA leaking into everything, our plants, oceans, and water sources are polluted and mutating us.
So unhelpful.
And then I saw this article today and had to laugh: http://www.medicaldaily.com/vegetarian-plant-based-diet-genetic-mutation-cancer-risk-380079
Now I can't tell you how valid the study was to which they're referring. Basically, everywhere you look, it's danger, danger, danger! Label everything! Down with GMOs! Down with eating animals! Down with fat! Down with non-fat! Down with...plants?
I think we all need to take a breath and chill. Just chill. Naturally we should be mindful of what we consume and whether we are good stewards of the earth. I'm not arguing against that. But I agree with certain Christian authors that have recently written about "diet America" ruining our meal times and sense of community, and that we should take a Eucharistic approach to food. Sure, let's go for real and wholesome as much as possible. But let's not lose our head over it in the process.
The basic conclusions shown collectively were:
1) When you eat a fatty diet with lots of carbs and processed sugars, it's bad. Keep it clean and unprocessed!
2) But wait! If you kill animals, that's cruel...go vegan!
3) ...There's more! With plastics and BPA leaking into everything, our plants, oceans, and water sources are polluted and mutating us.
So unhelpful.
And then I saw this article today and had to laugh: http://www.medicaldaily.com/vegetarian-plant-based-diet-genetic-mutation-cancer-risk-380079
Now I can't tell you how valid the study was to which they're referring. Basically, everywhere you look, it's danger, danger, danger! Label everything! Down with GMOs! Down with eating animals! Down with fat! Down with non-fat! Down with...plants?
I think we all need to take a breath and chill. Just chill. Naturally we should be mindful of what we consume and whether we are good stewards of the earth. I'm not arguing against that. But I agree with certain Christian authors that have recently written about "diet America" ruining our meal times and sense of community, and that we should take a Eucharistic approach to food. Sure, let's go for real and wholesome as much as possible. But let's not lose our head over it in the process.
Sunday, March 20, 2016
Berries, books, and Leverage
Out my window: Ugh, the cold front messed with me so much. Spring, come baaaack...it's ok, it should warm up over the next several days again :-) and the promise of spring showers also makes me giddy :-)
Clothing myself in: jeans, blue Maurice's top with black sweater, "pearl" earrings and bracelet
Around the apartment: I haven't felt the best the past couple of days, so despite having some extra days off of work, it's kinda, ick. Need to find my motivation again so that it's clean over Easter weekend.
The hubby: is super duper awesome.
In the kitchen: coming up will be some simple french dip crescents with au jus (I'm cheating and using a packet for the au jus), chicken alfredo stuffed shells, and skillet lasagna. Loving that berries are coming back in season. I wish I could do them more year-round. For simple, on the go breakfasts I'll do some toast with nutella and layer raspberries, blueberries, or strawberries. So yummy.
Crafting: maybe, if I'm motivated tomorrow/this week, I'll get some plants and whip our little porch into shape.
Learning: how to get a small group of people to agree on a meeting time so that the most people can make it...eesh.
Reading: Almost done with The Imitation of Mary (And you know what, I do like it better overall than The Imitation of Christ. Weird. I don't know, I guess there were parts of the latter that I just couldn't relate with.), FINALLY got to King Arthur pulling out the sword in The Once and Future King, also found a free app version of Jane Eyre, just got to the part where she leaves the school job to become a private tutor.
Watching: Matt's s-i-l introduced me to an episode or two of Leverage last summer. I remember thinking it was good, but never followed up with it. I have been binge-watching it recently...
Bringing me joy: A good conversation with my spiritual mentor...a spring break of sorts...
Thinking about: St. Joseph's leadership...Easter and summer plans...other things...
Pictures to share: Maybe when I have the porch cleaned up...
Clothing myself in: jeans, blue Maurice's top with black sweater, "pearl" earrings and bracelet
Around the apartment: I haven't felt the best the past couple of days, so despite having some extra days off of work, it's kinda, ick. Need to find my motivation again so that it's clean over Easter weekend.
The hubby: is super duper awesome.
In the kitchen: coming up will be some simple french dip crescents with au jus (I'm cheating and using a packet for the au jus), chicken alfredo stuffed shells, and skillet lasagna. Loving that berries are coming back in season. I wish I could do them more year-round. For simple, on the go breakfasts I'll do some toast with nutella and layer raspberries, blueberries, or strawberries. So yummy.
Crafting: maybe, if I'm motivated tomorrow/this week, I'll get some plants and whip our little porch into shape.
Learning: how to get a small group of people to agree on a meeting time so that the most people can make it...eesh.
Reading: Almost done with The Imitation of Mary (And you know what, I do like it better overall than The Imitation of Christ. Weird. I don't know, I guess there were parts of the latter that I just couldn't relate with.), FINALLY got to King Arthur pulling out the sword in The Once and Future King, also found a free app version of Jane Eyre, just got to the part where she leaves the school job to become a private tutor.
Watching: Matt's s-i-l introduced me to an episode or two of Leverage last summer. I remember thinking it was good, but never followed up with it. I have been binge-watching it recently...
Bringing me joy: A good conversation with my spiritual mentor...a spring break of sorts...
Thinking about: St. Joseph's leadership...Easter and summer plans...other things...
Pictures to share: Maybe when I have the porch cleaned up...
Monday, March 14, 2016
Random music pick: Song suggestion of the day XXXVI
I've been cycling through a lot of music recently to go with youth group "lesson" plans. I also am still reorganizing all of my music on iTunes, post new computer (Matt would say I'm a little nit-picky with how I arrange my music and pay attention to number of plays.). All this to say that I'm not sure I have a particular song standing out to me right now. I'm a little burnt out on the radio...country music gets raunchier, sometimes the Christian station songs just aren't doing it for me, and alternative/top 40 stations are hit and miss. So this is probably going to be just a random pick for you this time.
Friday, March 4, 2016
Valentine's Day Around Here (a little late in posting)
I have discovered, since being married, that I do have a slight soft spot in my heart for good ole' Valentine's Day that I would've never admitted to before. Add to that seeing allllllll the cute/creative ideas from Pinterest and, well, I was ready for it this year!
#1: The cute reminders...
I picked up a box of candy hearts because you just can't go wrong with those. While he was relaxing in his office, I put them around our apartment in places he wouldn't miss.
#2: The unique-ish gift...
People on Pinterest have all kinds of clever gift small gift ideas. Sadly you probably can't read what I wrote too well, but it says, "Donut Forget I Love You." Dawww. Sweet :-)
#3: The card...
Found this card at the grocery store and loved it. There are all the sappy "to my husband" cards with long poems that will probably be skimmed over, but this...this I could have fun with. I took a video, but am not really skilled at placing a phone to get a good shot when I'm not behind it, so it only got our torsos, but I gave him a flying leap hug...it was great.
#1: The cute reminders...
I picked up a box of candy hearts because you just can't go wrong with those. While he was relaxing in his office, I put them around our apartment in places he wouldn't miss.
#2: The unique-ish gift...
#3: The card...
Found this card at the grocery store and loved it. There are all the sappy "to my husband" cards with long poems that will probably be skimmed over, but this...this I could have fun with. I took a video, but am not really skilled at placing a phone to get a good shot when I'm not behind it, so it only got our torsos, but I gave him a flying leap hug...it was great.
Monday, February 8, 2016
Organizing Like It's Nobody's Business
Out my window: Dark...there are leaves in our recessed porch that I'm itching to bag up and get rid of, but A) I think I should wait until early March when I'm prepared to clean up my "gardening" supplies and pick out some new plants and B) I reeeeally hope apartment maintenance does that before I do...
Clothing myself in: sweats...'twas my day off.
Around the apartment: I have had spring cleaning on my mind, and have decided to start tackling some of my projects whenever the mood occurs. Last week I wiped down our kitchen wood. Today was a whole beast of it's own. Back in the summer/fall, Matt wanted to get a stand/dresser/something to put our printer on in our living room/my desk area, because it was eating up space on his desk. I ended up finding a small wood file cabinet at a thrift store that fit the bill. It is supposed to have rails in both of its drawers for hanging folders, but the rails of the top drawer are missing. So I have been pondering what to do with that drawer and what to fill it with. Now I've had some plastic drawers filled with various paperwork by my desk, but now that we're finally edging toward a state in life where we're not constantly moving (this will be the first spring/summer I haven't moved in 6 years...6 YEARS), I've wanted something a bit prettier and not so temporary as plastic drawers. After some head scratching and severalweeks months of deciding how I would arrange things, I finally decided to clean through and organize and file and shred a LOT of my paperwork and books and old notes today. I've had my genealogy work in binders, but put them in the usable hanging file drawer. In the top drawer I found this divider at Office Depot and put in my old school work, mostly science, philosophy, and theology, that is useful (and I dream of re-/self-studying some day). Also in the plastic drawers I'd been keeping a lot of my religious items and papers. When I still lived in GP, that was always at home in my wooden desk drawer. My mom has laid claim to that desk to keep it there, so that material has been also searching for a permanent spot. I found a simple, unfinished small wooden chest at Hobby Lobby, and am putting some holy cards, prayer pamphlets, and other trinkets in it. I already have a binder for holy cards to use for saint days and holy days, and I'm going to organize a binder with religious paperwork that I've kept through the years. LASTLY, the nice thing about the top drawer of the wooden file cabinet is that, even though its rails are missing, it does have a lock, so I moved some of my "important document" type of items (recent credit card statements, recent pay stubs, other miscellaneous items) to that drawer from it's less permanent accordian file. I filled up 1 1/2 trash bags of OLD "important document" type of things today too that I shredded (we're talking, paystubs from my sophomore year high school job old).
The hubby: loved the meatloaf I made tonight. I've had a few weeks of kinda blah meals, but somehow this week all of the meals I made rocked! Woot!
In the kitchen: see the meatloaf above...found a simple ham and cheese croissant recipe that was great, and also a stuffed chicken crescent recipe.
Crafting: I'm dressing up the religious items box currently, still a work in progress, but I'll put a picture or two at the bottom.
Learning: Diplomacy, how to make travel arrangements, how not to pull my hair out when making said travel arrangements...
Reading: Finished all the books I last listed (LOVED Sonnets from the Portuguese after I got into it a bit, I think it just took a few poems before I got the hang of the style of poetry). Currently reading "The Once and Future King," which is one of Matt's favorite books, and The Imitation of Mary. I read The Imitation waaaaay long ago, maybe even before high school, though definitely before I graduated high school, and I *think* I liked it, but after struggling through The Imitation of Christ, I had second thoughts on my memory of the other.
Watching: Oh, since we finished Downton, nothing too exciting. I've been on a bit of a 90s movie kick, maybe purely for the sake of the cool soundtracks...
Bringing me joy: a PRODUCTIVE day off, finalizing Lenten plans/aspirations
Thinking about: oh, work as usual...
Pictures to share:
Clothing myself in: sweats...'twas my day off.
Around the apartment: I have had spring cleaning on my mind, and have decided to start tackling some of my projects whenever the mood occurs. Last week I wiped down our kitchen wood. Today was a whole beast of it's own. Back in the summer/fall, Matt wanted to get a stand/dresser/something to put our printer on in our living room/my desk area, because it was eating up space on his desk. I ended up finding a small wood file cabinet at a thrift store that fit the bill. It is supposed to have rails in both of its drawers for hanging folders, but the rails of the top drawer are missing. So I have been pondering what to do with that drawer and what to fill it with. Now I've had some plastic drawers filled with various paperwork by my desk, but now that we're finally edging toward a state in life where we're not constantly moving (this will be the first spring/summer I haven't moved in 6 years...6 YEARS), I've wanted something a bit prettier and not so temporary as plastic drawers. After some head scratching and several
The hubby: loved the meatloaf I made tonight. I've had a few weeks of kinda blah meals, but somehow this week all of the meals I made rocked! Woot!
In the kitchen: see the meatloaf above...found a simple ham and cheese croissant recipe that was great, and also a stuffed chicken crescent recipe.
Crafting: I'm dressing up the religious items box currently, still a work in progress, but I'll put a picture or two at the bottom.
Learning: Diplomacy, how to make travel arrangements, how not to pull my hair out when making said travel arrangements...
Reading: Finished all the books I last listed (LOVED Sonnets from the Portuguese after I got into it a bit, I think it just took a few poems before I got the hang of the style of poetry). Currently reading "The Once and Future King," which is one of Matt's favorite books, and The Imitation of Mary. I read The Imitation waaaaay long ago, maybe even before high school, though definitely before I graduated high school, and I *think* I liked it, but after struggling through The Imitation of Christ, I had second thoughts on my memory of the other.
Watching: Oh, since we finished Downton, nothing too exciting. I've been on a bit of a 90s movie kick, maybe purely for the sake of the cool soundtracks...
Bringing me joy: a PRODUCTIVE day off, finalizing Lenten plans/aspirations
Thinking about: oh, work as usual...
Pictures to share:
 |
| As you can see, I'm sprucing it up a bit with some holy cards and medals |
 |
| Also putting some religious medals on the sides |
Saturday, January 23, 2016
Year of Mercy: Pro-Life Feature XIII
If you haven't added the 365 Days to Mercy app (made available by Our Sunday Visitor) to your smart phone...DO IT! Seriously. It has all kinds of features, including a daily reflection on mercy, daily summaries on the Mass readings, the Spiritual and Corporal works of mercy, the Chaplet, even a link to the Pope's Twitter account. I usually read the mercy reflections while I'm brushing my teeth first thing in the morning. All that being said, here is yesterday's reflection:
"'Among the vulnerable for whom the Church wishes to care with particular love and concern are unborn children, the most defenseless and innocent among us...Defense of unborn life is closely linked to the defense of each and every other human right. It involves the conviction that a human being is always sacred and inviolable in any situation and at every stage of development. Human beings are ends in themselves and never a means of resolving other problems. Once this conviction disappears, so do solid and lasting foundations for the defense of human rights, which would always be subject to the passing whims of the powers that be.' (Pope Francis, Evangelii Gaudium) PRAY: Send forth your Spirit, O Lord, and renew the face of the earth."
"'Among the vulnerable for whom the Church wishes to care with particular love and concern are unborn children, the most defenseless and innocent among us...Defense of unborn life is closely linked to the defense of each and every other human right. It involves the conviction that a human being is always sacred and inviolable in any situation and at every stage of development. Human beings are ends in themselves and never a means of resolving other problems. Once this conviction disappears, so do solid and lasting foundations for the defense of human rights, which would always be subject to the passing whims of the powers that be.' (Pope Francis, Evangelii Gaudium) PRAY: Send forth your Spirit, O Lord, and renew the face of the earth."
Wednesday, January 20, 2016
New Year, New Job
Hi all! Sorry for the prolonged absence. I really am still here, but with a new job and all that comes with it, I've been still getting used to my new state in life!
I've honestly tried a couple times to write a blog, but they were usually after an event that had me thinking a lot and ranting, or after a long day of work where all I could think of was all I had to do for work. While I will certainly try to update you on work, I promise I won't let the post get too bogged down with details.
Since I don't think I've had a personal post since before Christmas, I'll start there. We had a lovely Christmas back with my parents, and got to spend some time with Matt's family too. I wrapped up work at the preschool on Dec. 30th. It was a bit surreal for people to be saying bye to me, and especially to hug my littles goodbye. They were too young for them to understand that they wouldn't be having me in class again, and though I plan to try to make it to their spring concert, part of me wonders if they'll remember me by that point, which had me a bit sad. They were a feisty but fun group of boys, and I do miss their little quirks and cute moments.
We savored our New Year celebrations and the weekend immediately following, because Matt went back to work that next Monday after a nice two week vacation, and I started my new position that Tuesday. Though my title is DRE, I also work the front desk, and will be starting up youth groups for the junior high and high school students. Beginning this position in the middle of the school year definitely has its challenges...trying to begin a new group when everybody already has an established schedule is an uphill battle, and making a new group from scratch that meets everybody's expectations is...well, daunting. A lot of my first weeks have been learning the politics of the church, who is who and what they have to contribute, and being met with ideas for youth group that I did not expect to be encountering. It's a reminder that each parish is soooooo different. The culture, the past experiences, and the expectations are just not the same from one place to the next. It's a good reminder for me that youth group is not what I make of it, but ultimately will be something bigger than me. I can give it some push, direction, and structure, but ultimately I hope to make of it something that can be passed along.
(See, that was the only paragraph on work...that's not too bad for now, right?! My previous attempt on a blog had a paragraph all the way down to this point on strictly work. I didn't think you would enjoy that :-P )
My new schedule allows me to have Mondays and Thursdays off. Ideally, once I'm more established in a routine, these will be good days to catch up on chores, do some good meal prep, and make it to daily Masses. Honestly, so far, those days have been bumming-hard-core-days. Which, I have to allow myself. It really is still a switch to go from part-time mornings to full days, even if they aren't every day. But I will survive, and we will get there.
Also, last update, my first day of work was also my birthday! I never have super high expectations for my birthday, and all I wanted this year were to: go out to eat, have a boxed cake mix to make, and then I gave Matt a few options of some chill time things we could do, since we both still had to work the next morning. I know, a boxed cake mix doesn't sound spectacular, but I wasn't in the mood for anything super rich, and my reasoning was that when I go grocery shopping, every once in a while I'll stare a bit wistfully in the baking aisle, but usually reserve our snack food budget for something a bit more practical, so I pass it up...this was my chance to pick out something tasty-looking from the baking aisle! For the restaurant, I decided I wanted local barbecue, but something we haven't tried yet, so I ended up finding a place that was a renovated Texaco station from back in the day. It was a really great place, I hope to take family back to it at some point. And for chill time, we watched Downton (last season...we're playing a little bit of catch up). Annnnd I had a niece born on my birthday, which definitely made it special.
Yesterday weather moved through the area, and I had quite the time making it home from work, despite being sent home early by my associates. I have an appointment today, so we decided I would just take the day off and work Thursday instead. Yay flexibility! Enjoy (and be safe) in this wintry weather!
I've honestly tried a couple times to write a blog, but they were usually after an event that had me thinking a lot and ranting, or after a long day of work where all I could think of was all I had to do for work. While I will certainly try to update you on work, I promise I won't let the post get too bogged down with details.
Since I don't think I've had a personal post since before Christmas, I'll start there. We had a lovely Christmas back with my parents, and got to spend some time with Matt's family too. I wrapped up work at the preschool on Dec. 30th. It was a bit surreal for people to be saying bye to me, and especially to hug my littles goodbye. They were too young for them to understand that they wouldn't be having me in class again, and though I plan to try to make it to their spring concert, part of me wonders if they'll remember me by that point, which had me a bit sad. They were a feisty but fun group of boys, and I do miss their little quirks and cute moments.
We savored our New Year celebrations and the weekend immediately following, because Matt went back to work that next Monday after a nice two week vacation, and I started my new position that Tuesday. Though my title is DRE, I also work the front desk, and will be starting up youth groups for the junior high and high school students. Beginning this position in the middle of the school year definitely has its challenges...trying to begin a new group when everybody already has an established schedule is an uphill battle, and making a new group from scratch that meets everybody's expectations is...well, daunting. A lot of my first weeks have been learning the politics of the church, who is who and what they have to contribute, and being met with ideas for youth group that I did not expect to be encountering. It's a reminder that each parish is soooooo different. The culture, the past experiences, and the expectations are just not the same from one place to the next. It's a good reminder for me that youth group is not what I make of it, but ultimately will be something bigger than me. I can give it some push, direction, and structure, but ultimately I hope to make of it something that can be passed along.
(See, that was the only paragraph on work...that's not too bad for now, right?! My previous attempt on a blog had a paragraph all the way down to this point on strictly work. I didn't think you would enjoy that :-P )
My new schedule allows me to have Mondays and Thursdays off. Ideally, once I'm more established in a routine, these will be good days to catch up on chores, do some good meal prep, and make it to daily Masses. Honestly, so far, those days have been bumming-hard-core-days. Which, I have to allow myself. It really is still a switch to go from part-time mornings to full days, even if they aren't every day. But I will survive, and we will get there.
Also, last update, my first day of work was also my birthday! I never have super high expectations for my birthday, and all I wanted this year were to: go out to eat, have a boxed cake mix to make, and then I gave Matt a few options of some chill time things we could do, since we both still had to work the next morning. I know, a boxed cake mix doesn't sound spectacular, but I wasn't in the mood for anything super rich, and my reasoning was that when I go grocery shopping, every once in a while I'll stare a bit wistfully in the baking aisle, but usually reserve our snack food budget for something a bit more practical, so I pass it up...this was my chance to pick out something tasty-looking from the baking aisle! For the restaurant, I decided I wanted local barbecue, but something we haven't tried yet, so I ended up finding a place that was a renovated Texaco station from back in the day. It was a really great place, I hope to take family back to it at some point. And for chill time, we watched Downton (last season...we're playing a little bit of catch up). Annnnd I had a niece born on my birthday, which definitely made it special.
Yesterday weather moved through the area, and I had quite the time making it home from work, despite being sent home early by my associates. I have an appointment today, so we decided I would just take the day off and work Thursday instead. Yay flexibility! Enjoy (and be safe) in this wintry weather!
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