Sitting in church before Mass last evening, I started reflecting on how very adult my life is becoming. Up to this point there have been baby steps to adulthood: cosigning on my car and student loans, getting engaged, having a full time job. In about a month, there will be a sudden rush of adulthood: switching my last name on everything, really actually truly moving out...the marital act. There was a rush of feeling as though I was losing a lot of my innocence of life. Earlier in the day I had had some music on in the car from a Steubenville trip in high school. I remember at the time how still so very excited and young I was in faith, and how much my heart would soar with the music when I would hear it and leap into God's arms. It doesn't quite have the same effect anymore, and I again felt a certain disconnect, as though I was losing touch with that part of me that was much simpler, innocent, and child-like.
At the same time, I started thinking on the connection to this beautiful feast of Divine Mercy. The misericordia of God...recognizing my lowliness, reaching up to God as a little child trusts in its mother, nuzzling close to the breast and feeding on the milk of God which is life-giving...the food of God in the Eucharist. Divine Mercy reminds me that I can still be as a trusting, innocent child. I need to snuggle close and hide myself in the heart of Jesus, knowing He is my only shelter from the changes and whims of the world.
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| From http://pilgrimsprogresspddm.blogspot.com/2012/12/resting-on-heart-of-jesus-feast-of-st.html |
There's a quote that floats around on the internet, attributed to a Kimberly Jones, that says, "Don't let people pull you into their storms. Pull them into your peace." In a certain sense that's the attitude that I want to have for the next month, except that it's really more that I don't want to be pulled into the world's sense of accomplishment, but instead I want to wrap the world into the Sacred, Merciful Heart and keep an attitude of trust in how God is moving in the changes happening in my life.
What a beautiful soul you are. I am so excited that you will be my sister in a month!
ReplyDeleteI think, in getting married and having my babies, I often find unexpected little pieces of that childlike love and joy (and, to be honest, I very rarely feel that I have "grown up" yet).
And I'm superly excited to have you as a sister too. I really love you're so open about your beautiful life as a wife and mother. Soooo glad I'm going to have a few sisters to teach me the ropes ;-)
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