"Something Big"

Sometimes a song changes a whole lot.  (Warning, this paragraph will probably be super cliche.  If you want you can skip ahead to the next paragraph.)  There are times in your life when no amount of sympathy or well-wishes will spur you on to the next thing in life to tackle.  Sometimes God just has to insert words with a melody and bam.  Life will never be the same.

Lately I've felt pretty helpless in certain aspects of my life.  My biggest hope/plan/dream of attending the graduate program I really really really wanted to go to came crashing down.  I don't know what my future holds, and I've been asserting my emotions through a number of unhealthy ways...secluding myself in my room to do homework instead of studying with friends, not sharing my emotions with others who genuinely want to be there for me, being envious of everyone who has some kind of a certain idea of post-graduation plans.  Even if their plan is to not do anything...at least they know what they're doing.  I've got nothin'.  Just waiting.

And this is where Lent comes in.  I want Lent to transform my waiting from helplessness to hopefulness.

The idea of giving up social media in the form of Facebook is tempting, but becoming more and more used.  It's not unusual for Ash Wednesday to see multiple people putting up statuses of their absence, and even deactivating accounts for the duration of Lent.  I think I'm being led to flip this around.  I'm going to keep being on Facebook for Lent, but I want it to be different.  I'm not going to give up Facebook...I'm going to let God transform my Facebook.
Something I've often brought up to my spiritual director is how impressed I am by people I see around me who are not only Catholic witnesses, but authentic, genuine, and attractive in their witness to Christ.  When I see them, I see the Gospel message being lived out...Matthew 28:19.  They're for real on fire for God and His Church.

This Lent, I don't want a person to browse my Facebook without being reminded of the Catholic faith in some way or another.  Not to the point of being obnoxious with 15 statuses of Bible verses a day...but persistent enough to make people contemplate their faith.  To get maybe a few to squirm...to even risk my friendships with them.

Now, back to that song I was talking about in the first paragraph...  The lyrics to this song were what finally pushed me to the point of accepting this Lenten mission.  I want this to be big.  I want this resolution of sharing my faith...both in my daily life and even on-line (holla New Evangelization!)...to be impactful in my own life and, if God wills, maybe in the life of a couple people who might stumble across my Facebook and have to encounter God.  I need to be reminded in my own life that, despite any perceived loss of control on my end, God is still Author of my Life, and His plans are "plans for your welfare and not for woe, so as to give you a future of hope." (Jeremiah 29:11).  So, finally, here's the link to that song:  Something Big by John Waller (I would have posted the video, but Blogger's not letting me...)