God: *shakes Head* We've talked about this before. If you'd come with a bigger pail, or even have the courage to jump into my Ocean of Love, you wouldn't have to come back for the same marginal amount every day. You'd have all you need in Me.
Me: And, like I said every time, Lord, we...I...am comfortable with this bucket load. It's easy for me to carry and contemplate all on its own. Why can't You be satisfied with this? See, it makes it so that I can come back every day...routine, ya know?
God: Does My Love not satisfy you?
Me: Sure it does, why would I be coming back every day with my pail if it didn't?
God: Then why don't you want more?
Me: I don't know God...You're kind of...overwhelming. Really, I don't know if I could handle more than this. I mean, of course Your Ocean of Love looks awesome...but I also like my bucket. I like to know what to expect. And I doubt you could fit all of Your Ocean into this bucket. Though, if You wanna try...
God: Oh, you do make Me smile. No, I cannot fit My Ocean into your bucket. Not that I don't want to, but I can only work with you as much as you will work with Me. I can completely satisfy you, but your trust and expectations in the form of this small bucket...just aren't cutting it. What keeps you from jumping into My Ocean?
Me: Well...God...I could use some swimming lessons. I mean, you expect me to jump into Your Ocean, but I don't really think I can handle it. Like I said, You're overwhelming. I need baby steps.
God: That's what you said when you started bringing just your pail. And I thought you'd keep bringing a bigger and bigger pail once you experienced My goodness. Would it really hurt to just step into the water?
Me: Well, no, not really. But what if there's a current? And waves? You and I both know how frightened I can get. I like my feet on solid ground. I like to know where I am, what to expect.
God: You need to trust Me that, once you step in, I'll take care of you. Every part of My Love has purpose. The waves, the currents of this Ocean, are meant not to take you under, but to bring you closer to Me. I'm willing to go slowly with you, though. Just put one foot in...leave it there for a while...and, once you trust Me, put the next foot in. We can go from there.
Me: *sigh* God, along with being overwhelming, You're also undeniably hard to bargain with. Okay...here goes...
You really, *really* need to read "Hinds Feet on High Places."
ReplyDeleteThis really, really, REALLY is exactly what I needed to read right now!!! So true-God's path (even in the small ways) can be soo overwhelming. There are the moments when I really don't think I can handle even the small things. But you're absolutely right; God is so hard to bargain with. But He always gives us the little graces we need.
ReplyDeleteMonica, from what you described of it, it does sound excellent...I'll definitely keep that on my summer reading list.
ReplyDeletei love those conversations with God when we are honest about what He is telling us. He is always so gently, and always right, never forcing, but gently calling and inviting. Thank you for being so willing to share this!
ReplyDeleteGod Bless!